You're going to buy an immersion blender. It should be this one.

Tech pop quiz time: what kind of gadget has so thoroughly changed the way people do things that virtually every major item in its Amazon category is rated four stars or higher?

OK, so that big picture of an immersion blender to the left probably tipped you off that the answer is “immersion blender”. Think of other paradigm-disemboweling doodads, from tablets to vac-bots, and at least some examples of that device will suck. But the immersion blender is such a perfect contraption that it’s almost impossible to screw up.

It gives you better control over blending purées, smoothies, and soups than a stand blender, and you can clean it in a minute and throw it in a drawer. No wonder the Internet loves these things like they’re Bill Murray and Neil DeGrasse Tyson racing on llama-back.

The only thing it can’t do is stunt-blend your iPhone or whatever. If you’re foolish enough to challenge the Will It Blend? juggernaut, you’ll need a stand blender. You fool.

So if they’re all pretty good, how do you choose one? The housewarewolves at the Sweethome say that if you’ve got $100 to spend, you should buy the Breville Control Grip. If you’ve only got $35 to spend, you should buy the Cuisinart SmartStick CSB-75, they say.

But they didn’t count on us. They didn’t reckon we’d rustle up a complete Panasonic immersion blender kit - complete with food processor, non-slip blending bowl, whisk, and beaker - that’s better than the Cuisinart for a lower price. And frankly, neither did we. That kind of deal in this category is pretty unheard-of. So when we saw these, we pounced.

The Panasonic MX-SS1 has a stronger motor than the Cuisinart (210W vs. 200W) and a variable, step-less speed control rather than the Cuisinart’s two speeds of high and low. It’s got a couple of extra “blending blades” in between the big blades so it’s, uh, extra blendy. And of course, it also comes with all those attachments and accessories. The Panasonic can whisk and chop and do all kinds of other food-processing tasks. The Cuisinart’s price includes only the blender itself - why bother?

The only catch: because this model was mostly marketed in the Middle East and Australia, online reviews are almost nonexistent. We’ve tried to rectify that in today’s video, with a dopey, aggressively unhelpful song about pureeing parsnips.

But we don’t need to dazzle you with sheer cinematic spectacle to make our point. Which is: if you’ve finally decided to wise up and dip your toe in the water of immersion blenders, this is obviously the one to get. Just don’t get it anywhere near your actual toes.