Optimus 1 Gallon Cool Mist Evaporative Humidifier

  • A stout little humidifier to make the room feel nice
  • Great for ambient air quality
  • Not at all an early indicator for the decline of civilization
  • Built-in air filter!
  • How does these celebrate classic cars from classic movies: they don’t, so if you want that, you’ll have to head over to Mediocritee
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Design the Air

It’s kind of amazing just how much we’re able to fine-tune our physical environments.

It’s like for most of human history everybody was just trying not to be eaten by a tiger or die from the elements, then in just a matter of a few generations we’re suddenly sitting in an air-conditioned room with our noise-canceling headphones and thinking “hmm…this is almost satisfactory, but if only the air was just a little more moist…”

Your sensibilities are weak and your ancestors are probably ashamed, is what we’re saying.

But don’t worry, you soft and intergenerationally disappointing retail shopper. Like avocado suppliers and those dudes who make TikTok videos about making your bed every morning, we’re more than willing to profit from your particular flavor of postmodern neediness.

So no matter how you feel about a dramatized docu-series on true cr—holy shit the air in here is actually really pleasant. This little humidifier is making a huge difference to the point it might have been worth it to unplug the backup panini maker after all.


Well, maybe this isn’t some subtle leading indicator of imminent human decline. Maybe it’s just, like…a humidifier for medium-sized rooms that has a one-gallon capacity and 24-hour runtime.

Just get one. If nothing else, panini toasting requires a certain level of moisture in the air to crisp properly. Your lungs will like it, too, probably.

So far today...

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And you bought...

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  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $4189 total.
  • (including shipping)

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