Counter Space: The Final Frontier

Today we look to the heavens together, as a nation, to witness a spectacular cosmic event. And we here at Meh aren’t going to use this rare spectacle to further our own interests by, say, connecting “space” with the “space-saving” capabilities of this Nutri Ninja Nutri Bowl Duo.

We wouldn’t stoop to that level.

While other websites jump on the eclipse bandwagon in a pathetic attempt to gin up traffic, we’ll let today’s astronomic phenomenon speak for itself without mentioning how much counter space you could consolidate by buying this 2-in-1 system rather than a separate blender and food processor. When they go low …

We could sell a few more of these remarkable machines by pointing out how their powerful 1200-watt bases eclipse the competition. But it’s not worth it. This great nation needs a moment like today’s to bring us together, not some cheesy deal-a-day site trying to help them live healthier lives by blending smoothies and creating raw food energy bars with one appliance.

We respect our readers’ intelligence too much for that. We think your IQs are too high to be swayed by such transparent pandering. Just as the Auto-IQ boost on these Nutri Ninjas are too smart to blend your food at inappropriate blade speeds. You both know better.

Does it pain us that our loyal customers will be gazing heavenward in awe while they could be revolutionizing the way they eat? Absolutely. The Nutri Bowl not only works as a food processor but can create unique “Nutrient Fusion” meals with healthy everyday ingredients, but full solar eclipses aren’t an everyday experience, so we’ll bite our tongues.

It’s not exactly life-changing to watch one disc cover another, but it’s what we’re all doing today, and we respect that. We won’t try to compare the two (that is, we won’t try to compare the 2-minute “event" with the life-changing power of healthy eating). We’re not monsters.

So whether you’re gazing like oxen into space or clearing your kitchen’s counter space with this fantastic deal, we salute you. Too bad you won’t be able to see our salute with your seared retinas and all. Oh well. [Drinks smoothie].