Nespresso Vertuo Espresso & Coffee Machine with Milk Frother (Refurbished)
Our Take
- It’s a little machine that produces magical garbage and a negligible espresso byproduct.
- The hip youth of my local coffee shop make me feel often like a lame childless dad, but the Nespresso never judges me.
- It can make anything from an espresso shot to a full cup of coffee.
- Also includes an Aeroccino 3 for making hot or cold milk froth
- Make sure you buy pods for the right Nespresso model.
- Model: BNV250CRO1BUC1, because it’s really Big in Nevada, and also 250 countries around the world, including Croatia, home of 1 Big University and also the Cooler 1.
A True Espression Of Self
Coming soon, to a theater near you:
[Fun, upbeat music plays]
Gwen has a great job…
GWEN: Your honor, my client is not guilty.
JURY: We the jury hereby find the defendant not guilty and the lawyer really cool.
…the perfect marriage…
DEAN: Hey, honey! Check it out! While I was delivering all those puppies at the vet, I grew a new bicep!
…and the perfect apartment.
GWEN’S FRIEND: I didn’t know they made a bed bigger than a California King.
GWEN: It’s called a California Plus Nevada King.
The only problem is her family…
[Record scratch]
…might not see it that way.
GWEN: [on the phone] You’re coming to visit? From Italy?
DEAN: So what if your grandfather wants to visit?
GWEN: You don’t understand. He doesn’t know what I do. He thinks I’m an award winning classic Italian-style barista, just like my father, just like him, and just like his father before that. The truth would be too much for him to handle! What am I going to do?
DEAN: There is one thing… but it’s risky…
[Scheming dramatic music plays]
DEAN: It’s called a Nespresso Vertuo. And it makes coffee shop quality espresso from a little pod.
GWEN: I don’t know if this is going to work…
DEAN: You don’t really have a choice.
Sometimes, it’s not about the risks we take.
GRANDPA: Ah, my little conchiglie! Thanks-uh for pickin-uh me up at the airpor! Now, how’s-uh ‘bout some espress’.
GWEN: Right here, Grandpa!
GRANDPA: Mwuh! It’s-uh mag-uh-nifi-cent!
[Sentimental, hopeful music plays]
It’s about trying to be someone else…
GRANDPA: But-uh, Gwen! What-uh are you-uh doing with-uh that Nespresso Vertuo machine-uh?!
GWEN: Grandpa, you weren’t supposed to see this!
…only to learn what it means to be yourself.
GRANDPA: Why-uh you lie to grandpa-pa?
GWEN: I just didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.
GRANDPA: But my little conchiglie, no! I’m-uh not disappointed at all-uh!
GWEN: Really?
GRANDPA: No! Now-uh, when I-uh made a cup of-uh th’espress speciale for Fellini and he-uh spit it in my face-uh and say, “Arrivederci,” that’s a disappointment! Mwuh!
GWEN: Wait, what? That doesn’t make any sen–
This summer, it’s time to:
Title Screen:
ESPRESSO YOURSELF
