Moving Dirt

Do I have friends? Sure.

You might see them around. Maybe dancing. Maybe doing a little off-roading. Or a little more off-roading. Or maybe even going way off road.

And you know what I say to all that?

Must be nice.

Because some of us? We have jobs to do.

Seriously, you think I don’t want to be yucking it up with those bozos? You think I wouldn’t love to shred some dunes, or race down the sidewalk, or try and pull some stunts like no full-sized automobile would ever have the guts to do? Yeah, of course.

But I got holes to dig.

Where? Anywhere.

The sandbox. The garden beds. The dirt around the tree in the backyard. The beach. Give me some soft ground, and I will excavate. And not just what’s right in front of me either. With my 680-degree rotating cabin, I have a full range of motion to do my digging.

You see, I’m in the cool rock business. I dig up cool rocks. I bury cool rocks. I sometimes dig up those same cool rocks again and then re-bury them somewhere else. And yes, to answer the question that’s on the tip of your tongue, as a matter of fact, this is important work. The cool rock economy is booming among people ages four to sixteen (and some older, too). You find a really cool rock, you run things. That’s just how it goes. Capiche?

Okay, fine, maybe this isn’t the most vital work in the world. But I’m sorry, if you took a deep dive into the spreadsheets or whatever it is you do for a living, would it really be that much different than digging some holes and finding some rocks?

Take a minute to really think about that, will you?

Anyway, I gotta go. My break’s over. I get one every 90 or so minutes, as dictated by OSHA. And also my battery life.