Kershaw Funxion Outdoor Knife with Saw Blade
- Model: 8000OL
- 8Cr13MoV steel, which is apparently some good kind of steel
- Small saw blade for sawing yourself free you get a small part of your body caught in a bear trap, like a pinky or your tongue
- SpeedSafe assisted opening because you got things to do, you can’t wait around all day for a knife to open
We wish we knew how to cut you off.
We can’t quit you, knives. We know we need to walk away. We try. God, how we try. Then here you come again, selling better than a body has a right to. Before we know it, we’re a knife store all over again, at least for that day.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Somebody’s gotta sell knives. We just never saw ourselves as that somebody. We can go through the motions of telling you how this Kershaw Funxion is a solid multi-function EDC knife with a satin-finished 8Cr13MoV blade. We could mouth all the right words about the additional sawblade. But we wouldn’t feel it.
The only time we’d really emotionally engage is when it’s time to make fun of “SpeedSafe assisted opening”. We can just imagine the marketing guy thinking it’s gotta have “speed” in the name, but his boss thinks that sounds dangerous, so after a tense all-day meeting, they compromise with this silly “SpeedSafe” name. But that just means we’re interested in cheesy marketing, not in knives.
You know what would really give us the strength to get out? If the other products we offer sold even better than knives. Why, we bet that if everybody who doesn’t care about knives just bought one more thing a week, we could stop selling knives entirely.
But who are we kidding?
-
Kershaw Funxion Outdoor Knife with Saw Blade 150
-
Pointless Knife Test - Kershaw Funxion Outdoor Knife with Saw Blade 18
-
Which famous person born on March 4 would win in a knife fight? 22
-
Ship Once Per Month? 5 -
who wants to do another Fuku Exchange? 123 -
Insta-ohshit-report? 20 -
For @JonT...California weather 12 -
What was your favorite Hell+Bowell product? 1