Simpler Times?

Fun fact for younger readers: It used to be a real pain in the ass to listen to music while you were out and about.

The reason it took so long for earbuds to come around was mostly that there were like eleven other supremely annoying things about portable music that needed to be addressed first. It’s kind of shocking that an entire generation walked around with those headphones with the foam ear pads that always fell off and the adjustable bit that ripped your hair out and we just sucked it up because we were too busy dealing with shit like scratched CDs and dead AA batteries. It’s a wonder we found time to make sure that bass boost was turned on.

(Oh damn, quick aside. Did you know that Sony brought back the Walkman? It is $1,600. Alternatively, you can buy a gold-plated one for like three grand (not kidding) or check back here in maybe a year and a half when you can get one in an IRK after we fail to clear them out at $80 a pop. Sorry, just had to throw that out there while we’re talking old-school portable music.)

Anyway, fast forward past audio milestones like electronic skip protection, that little switch you could flip to keep buttons from being pressed by accident in your pocket, and MP3 players that were loaded exclusively with stolen music, and you’ll find yourself at…iPods. On top of upending portable audio, Apple also flexed their weird hypnobranding muscles and made everyone immediately decide that having little white earbuds with their distinctive white cord was the most important thing in the world.

It was kind of dumb.

Now where were we possibly going with all this?

Headphones! That’s right. Proper ones.

Not earbuds but also not crappy.

Today’s deal is that.

Now that we’re all secure enough to use whatever device and hardware we want, the time has come to acknowledge that sometimes you just want nice, cushy, over-the-ear headphones that fit nicely and sound amazing.

They won’t help you look awesome while dancing in silhouette against a brightly colored background (is that a reference anyone will get?), but they will give you a refreshingly pleasant listening experience for WAY less than a lot of these over-the-ear setups.

So yeah. Bring some sense back to the headphones game.

Just remember, there’s no AUX jack, so Bluetooth only. That means that you can use them with your new Walkman (you rich idiot), but not your old Walkman (you hipster).