Health-o-Meter 400lb Body Weight Tracking Scales
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Our Take
- Choose between three plain-looking models
- They can track the weight for two users
- Good for up to 400lb
- Are they Mac compatible: If your Mac’s weight is fluctuating, you probably want to take it to the Genius Bar
Step On, Step Off
How to use your Health O Meter scale.
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Put batteries into it.
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Step onto it.
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Read the number.
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Step off of it.
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Smell something burning.
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Remember the roast.
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Confirm that the roast is fully burnt.
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Panic, because your boss, his wife, and Peter, your chief rival at work, are all coming over for dinner tonight.
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Answer the doorbell when it rings, finding Peter is here early.
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Hang your head in defeat, knowing Peter will take this as an opportunity to applaud your downfall.
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Marvel as Peter, surprisingly, does not applaud your downfall but instead rushes to the fridge and manages to concoct a gourmet menu from its contents that the two of you can cook together before the boss arrives.
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Try to contain your surprise when Peter reveals that he was once on an episode of Chopped.
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Ask him to repeat that when he says, “It was a special episode. All the competitors were firefighters with broken hearts. Just like me. At the time.”
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Tell him you didn’t know he used to be a firefighter.
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Ask him if his heart is still broken.
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Read between the lines when he says, “Not anymore, no. In fact, there’s someone in my life now. Someone I see every day. She seems to think I’m her rival. And I let her think that because I’m glad she thinks of me at all.”
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Welcome your boss.
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Proceed awkwardly through dinner.
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Share a kiss with Peter after the boss and his wife leave.
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Marry Peter. (Eventually.)
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Set him up as the second user for your Health O Meter scale.
Note: Steps 5 through 21 are optional. You do not need to marry your work rival to use a Health O Meter scale. But it does allow two users to track their weight.
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