Teeth: Clean

Craig was about to brush his teeth when his bathroom window burst open. “What the heck!” he cried, ducking as the creature flew over him.

Remaining crouched, he turned around, expecting to find an injured bird or a bat. Instead, there was a small cherub with wings floating in the corner.

“Whoa,” Craig said, standing up fully. “Are you Cupid?”

“Close,” said the cherub. “Name’s Cuspid.”

“Wait,” Craig said, “like the tooth?”

“Exactly,” Cuspid said. “I’m the current chief dental specialist for the office of Cupid.”

“I don’t understand,” Craig said. “You’re Cupid’s dentist?”

“No,” Cuspid said. With a flutter of his wings, he lowered himself to sit on the edge of the tub. “See, here’s how it used to go. Cupid would target a couple people, shoot a few arrows, and boom, love. Only, one of said lovers would have terrible dental habits. We’re talking ten seconds of brushing with the freebie brush you get after your annual cleaning, and definitely no flossing. And don’t get me wrong, Cupid’s arrows are magic, but they’re no match for bad breath and nasty teeth. All the breakups were making ol’ Cupie and his associates look bad, so they hired me. And now every time we’re about to set up a new couple, we do a little pre-check to make sure they know how to take care of their chompers.”

“Hold on,” Craig said, his voice surging with excitement. “I’m about to fall in love?”

“Depends,” Cuspid said. “Let’s see your set-up.”

“My set-up?”

“Your gear,” Cuspid said. “What are you working with?”

“Oh, it’s nothing so special,” Craig said. “It’s just a Fairywill Electric Toothbrush capable of 40,000 micro-brushes per minute with 5 high-performance modes. And then there’s my water flosser–”

“I’ll stop you right there,” Cuspid said. “I saw a guy last week who gurgled with Coca Cola. You’re all set. This is some solid equipment. Must’ve cost you a fortune. I’ll put a note in your file to let Cupid know that you’re super-rich.”

“Oh, this stuff?” Craig began to say. “I actually got it online for pretty–”

“That way,” Cuspid said, cutting him off, “we can be sure to set you up with someone else who’s also super-rich.”

“–penny,” Craig said, catching himself. “It cost me a pretty penny. Because I am definitely super-rich.”

“Great! I’ll go ahead and leave you to your evening,” Cuspid said, getting up and flying to the window. “One of the last ones you’ll spend alone for a good while.”

And with that, the little cherub was gone.

Wow, Craig thought, I’m going to meet the love of my life, and it’s all thanks to this Fairywill Toothbrush and Water Flosser!