Empower Fit Pro Smartwatch with Interchangeable Bands

  • All the smartwatch features you need, none of the nonsense
  • Interchangeable bands to keep you looking fly
  • Unisex design and 1.4" screen size
  • Compatible with Android or iOS
  • Can it make margaritas? No, but you can set a 10 a.m. cocktail reminder
see more product specs

No Nonsense

There are exactly three smartwatch features that are worth a damn.

Number one: Notifications on your wrist. Being able to glance down to see who is calling or scan a text message real quick is fantastic.

Number two: Health tracking. This is cool. It’s like having your car’s instrument panel, but for your body. There have been standalone devices that do this for years and it’s weird that it took so long for someone to throw a slightly bigger screen on there and call it a watch.

Number three: Phone finding. Sometimes you lose your phone. Being able to ping it from your watch is basically the modern equivalent of Thor summoning Mjölöjlonöimnöpr from across the room. (Editor’s Note: I’m not looking up that spelling, but just…no.)

So there you have it. All the things you want a smartwatch to do.

Everything else? And we mean EVERYTHING else?

Nonsense.

Texting? Tedious.

Emails? C’mon.

Phone calls? Okay, Dick Tracy.

Controlling your music? Annoying.

Looking at photos? WHHHHHHHY.

Hand washing timer? Okay, Elmo.

Stock tracking? Settle down, diamond hands.

It’s. All. So. Dumb.

Because you have a phone. In your pocket. (If not your hand.) Right now.

And basically always.

So for anything that’s more conducive to doing on a phone-sized screen than a watch-sized screen—take out your phone.

It’s that simple.

To recap:

Notifications, health tracking, phone finding—yaaaaaay.
Literally anything else—booooooo.

So yeah.

This watch does the yaaaaaay things, but mostly skips the boooooo things. And then we sell it to you for thirty bucks instead of $300.

See how that works?

Oh, damn, wait. That trick where you can use your watch to trigger the camera on your phone is pretty dope for group pictures and stuff. This one does that, too. (Yaaaaaaay.)

So far today...

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And you bought...

  • 454 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $15738 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?