Ecovacs Deebot Mini 2 App-Enabled Robotic Vacuum
- Picks up hair, which makes it great for pet owners and weirdos.
- It’ll sweep, clean, and mop your bare floor.
- Guaranteed to make former Woot writers who just started writing for Meh feel right at home.
- Unlike your terrible children, you can use your phone to set its schedule and it’ll actually listen.
- Knows to go back to its base when its charge is low. Kind of like how the people in the woods dig their own graves in The Lobster. You all see The Lobster? Pretty strange stuff, huh?
- Model: DA3G, as in “Dang, that’s a fine-ass vacuum!” Wait, 3 can mean N, right? Youths, back me up.
The Numbers Don't Lie?
You’re probably thinking: there are so many robot vacuum cleaners on the market. How good could this ECOVACS DEEBOT MINI 2 possibly be, especially when it’s selling for so cheap?
Well, what would you say if we told you it was actually the best reviewed robot vacuum cleaner on the market?
Okay, fine, what you might say is that the model in that link, while being an ECOVACS DEEBOT, is actually different than the one we’re selling here. And wow, great catch! We almost missed that! There definitely are some differences. For example, doing a quick compare on the ECOVACS website, we can see that the MINI, which we’re selling here, is best for bare floors, while the award-winning N79, which we ARE NOT selling here, can also do carpet. Additionally, the MINI’s battery lasts 90 minutes, which is 10 minutes less than the N97.
But what would you say if we told you that Wirecutter, in honoring the N79, was really giving some much deserved recognition to the ECOVACS family as a whole: a lifetime achievement award, if you will, a la Coppola’s Oscar for The Departed?
You might say this theory doesn’t really hold water because scrolling down, it appears Wirecutter has highlighted two separate Roombas. And, cool. That’s all we have to say. Cool. Congratulations. You’ve outsmarted a Meh writer. Good for you…
OR IS IT? Because take a closer look! Those two Roombas actually have the SAME model number! What would you say to THAT?!
What you have to say is probably that, while having the same numbers IN their model numbers, they are actually different Roombas: one is a 690, and the other is a 960. You might also go on to say, in the interest of careful reading, it looks like we said “N97” when we meant “N79” above. And anyway, it seems weird, you might add, that we’re talking so much about all these robot vacuums that we’re not actually selling.
To which, we would say, first of all: you don’t have to yell at us. Our ability to carry out civilized conversations is what separates us for the lions. And second, as to why we aren’t just focusing solely on the ECOVACS DEEBOT MINI 2, which we are selling right now, we would say: honestly, we don’t know. We’ve gotten ourselves pretty confused.
It’s this world, man. The world of robot vacuum cleaners. It just never ends. Ideally, there’d be a few companies and each would have maybe two or three different models, but no! Instead, these people change the shape of the on-button and it goes from being the NC4915 to the TK9584. It just doesn’t make any SENSE!
What is clear, though, is that this ECOVACS DEEBOT MINI 2 really works well as a bare floor robot vacuum cleaner. It’s good at picking up pet hair. It knows where to go when it needs a charge. It can sweep, vacuum, and mop. The ECOVACS name is a respectable one. And most importantly, it’s way cheap. So, how about that, huh?
Oh, sorry. You weren’t listening. You were checking something on your phone and… yep, you were right: it was Scorsese, not Coppola, who directed The Departed.
Now what were we saying?
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Ecovacs Deebot Mini 2 App-Enabled Robotic Vacuum 83
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