Cook Bread

There was a little while there where, every other week, we were offering some behemoth of a countertop oven. It claimed it could air-fry and roast and broil and had, like, three heat zones and a little drawer for if you wanted to reheat a slice of pizza.

And we’ve talked about how great it can be to have something like that, especially when you’re making a meal with a few different sides, all of which need different oven temperatures and cooking techniques.

But sometimes, you have a slice of bread. And sometimes, you want to make that slice of bread browner and crispier than it was before. And you want that browning and that crispiness to be applied evenly. And you don’t want to use something enormous with fifty-eight settings to do it.

So, in that situation, what do you need?

A classic two-slice toaster, duh. Like this one.

But don’t worry. It’s 2025, so Cuisinart did manage to overcomplicate things somehow. After all, if they didn’t introduce a slew of ridiculous new features regularly, everyone would just use their toaster from the 80s and kitchen appliance companies wouldn’t make any money.

But how did they overcomplicate things, you ask?

Behold, this array of buttons!

Look, we’re not toaster engineers here. If you are–or you’ve used a toaster like this–please let us know how any of these settings (for things that are just bread) are different from one another. Also, assure us that toasting a bagel with the waffle setting will not tear a hole in the space-time continuum.

But look, joking aside, it’s a solid, attractive-looking toaster from a trusted appliance company.

Buy it if you need to make some toast.