808 HEX Encore Wireless Portable Speaker System (Refurbished)
- Whoa? A bluetooth speaker? On Meh?!
- This one’s got lights and a radio and an equalizer on it! OMG!
- And yes, despite its size, it has an internal battery so it can be used without a plug
- 2 USB inputs for audio or charging, and 2 microphone inputs for… uh… microphoning.
- 1 microphone included.
- LCD screen for controls. (But does that make it a real-life LCD soundsystem?!)
- Model: SP48B. Does this model number make anyone else think of peanut butter? No? Just me?
A Hex Upon You!
When Orly returned he was slumped over and tired and carried with him none of the promised blackberries.
“Oh, Orly!” cried Demitrius. He stood from his breakfast, rushed to his friend’s side, and helped him in. “What’s happened to you? Your back! It appears there is some strange protrusion upon it!”
“A great terror has befallen me,” Orly said, settling into a stool at the table. “I traveled into the mountains, to the brambles I’d seen with my binoculars, the brambles covered with such a wealth of plump and juicy blackberries. But when I reached them and tried to pick just one there came the call of a strange voice behind me!”
“But who could it have been?” asked Demitrius, kneeling at Orly’s side.
“'Twas a witch,” said Orly. “She said I had trespassed on her sacred garden and for that I would pay a price. She’d put a hex on me. I pleaded with her. I told her, but what is there to hex? For mine is a quiet and simple life. But this only excited her more. She said, forever more it would be neither quiet nor simple. She said, from now on, I shall have upon my back a bluetooth speaker with LED lights and LCD graphical user interface. Don’t you see Demitrius? My life! 'Tis ruined!”
“Let me cast my eyes on it,” Demitrius said, and so Orly took off his tunic. “It does appear as you’ve described it. There’s a 5-band EQ with presets, and 2 USB inputs for audio and charging, and also 2 microphone inputs. It truly is a HEX.”
“Woe is me!” Orly said.
“No, I mean that’s what it’s called,” Demitrius said, “an 808 HEX. I’m kind of a speaker nerd. And honestly, this one seems pretty dope.”
“Really?” said Orly, “Huh. Well, that’s good to know. Wanna listen to the new Charli XcX?”
And so they did.