Snack Smarter

48 sticks of meat! Some herby. Some spicy. Some… uhh… chicka boom-y?

Look, every year around this time, we sell some snacks, and whenever we do, we use the same sales pitch, because it’s a good one.

Basically: you’re about to eat like shit.

Friendsgiving. Thanksgiving. The holiday party. The cookie exchange. The school bake sale. The work potluck. Christmas dinner. Latkes and sufganiyot for Hanukkah. New Year’s Eve. That’s all going to happen in the next month and a half. And just about all of those things result in leftovers. Meaning, even if you don’t have a thing, you’re going to eat like you have a thing.

Which means, you need stuff around to snack on that’s not too bad for you.

A Snickers Bar at the grocery checkout for the drive home? A cheese danish to go with your cappuccino at the coffee shop? It’s fine in April or June or even February. But in November and December, you need provisions that’ll help you manage your hanger without giving you a tummy ache. (Or making the tummy ache you already have worse).

These meat sticks are a good option because they’re packed with protein. 8 grams per stick, in fact. And the calorie count? Just 70 for the chicken & turkey, 100 for the beef. Also, zero sugar & zero carbs. In other words: they’ll tide you over without knocking you over.

Of course, while you’re eating so many rich, decadent, empty calories, it can be hard to work up an appetite for something as reasonable as one of these things. Which is why you should put together a playlist of great meat-related songs. To put you in the mood for some meat.

Such as:

• “We are the Ham-pions”
• “Love me Tenderloin”
• “Carry on my Wayward (Veni)son”
• “Achy Steaky Heart”
• “Come Fly with Meat”
• “The First Cutlet’s The Deepest”
• “Great Meatballs of Fire”
• “Shank you for Being a Friend”
• “Get Chuck-y”
• “Eleanor Ribgy”
• “I Would do Anything foie Love (But I won’t do That)”

Wow, pretty stupid puns, huh?

But these meat sticks are not stupid. They’re actually a smart snack to have on hand for the holiday season.