Lots Of Dust

A guide to choosing the correct powder to consume

The world of consumable powders can be daunting, especially given so many of them have homophonic (or nearly homophonic) names. For this reason, we’ve put together the following straightforward guide that will, hopefully, inform and educate those of you about to begin the powder purchasing process.

Situation 1

You’ve just finished a grueling workout, and now you need something to help you recover. Only, you’re not looking to totally undo all your hard work by putting anything heavy and unhealthy into your body. Hence, you need a significant payload of protein with a relatively low calorie count. Bonus points if it’s infused with a variety of superfoods.

What you need: Protein powder (such as the kind we’re selling today)

Situation 2

It’s natural, as you age, to be confused by the generations that came after you. But recently, you’ve been taking it too far, and your negativity concerning people in their late adolescence is starting to make people uncomfortable. Hence, you could really use something that might help you balance your attitude.

What you need: Pro-teen powder

Situation 3

You could use some electrolytes today. But tomorrow, you might need some vitamin C. And the day after that, you could be looking for a cup of instant coffee. Also, you have a limited budget and, therefore, desire a product that can be all of these things and more, a powder capable of constant change.

*What you need: Protean powder

Situation 4

You awake in a large tent in the quaint British countryside. Looking around, you see ten stations set up, each with an oven, a sink, an electric range, a variety of mixing bowls, a KitchenAid, along with flour, spices, and all manner of other baking ingredients. Looking to your left, you see the vampiric host, the boisterous and good-natured host, and the small man with the silver hair and piercing blue eyes. That means you must be the other: the one with wacky aunt energy, eccentric glasses, who likes booze and says things like, “A pity about the pastry being underbaked because the filling is rather delicious.” But how can you just become this person on such short notice?

What you need: Prue-tein powder

Hopefully this helps you make your purchasing decision. Of course, we are only offering one powder today, but are hoping to source the others in the near future, so keep checking back. And if you’d like to add to our guide with a powder of your own, do post it in the comments.