4-Pack: Slicker Seat Premium Poncho with Stadium Seat Coverage

  • The poncho part keeps your shoulders dry
  • The seat part keeps your butt dry
  • The seat part is removable
  • It fits everyone I know
  • You get four of them for some good old dry-assed family fun!
  • Model: R41N-0F-T3RR0R
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Dry Shoulders & Butt

Cory Clay, the down-on-his-luck former tennis star, stepped tentatively into the study. “You wanted to see me, inspector?”

“Yes, Monsieur Clay,” said Inspector Henri. “Please, how you say, come in and, how you say, have a seat.”

Cory Clay sat down in one of the wingback chairs. He did not appear entirely at ease. “Look, I already talked to the sergeant–”

“Ah, oui,” said Inspector Henri, pacing the room. “But I would like to, how you say, go over the details of your alibi myself if you do not mind. You were, how you say, out watching tennis practice at the high school at the time of the murder, no?”

“Yeah,” said Cory Clay. “It’s where I like to go when I need some time to myself. It’s hard to explain if you’ve never played, but just seeing the court? That’s enough to set me right. And after my disagreement with the baroness, may she rest in peace, I definitely needed setting right.”

“But,” said Inspector Henri, “it was, how you say, raining, no?”

“That’s right,” Cory Clay said. “Not very hard, though. And the team was only doing some running drills.”

“And yet, you somehow returned,” said Inspector Henri, “with, how you say, dry shoulders.”

“Yes,” Cory Clay said, “because I had my poncho on.”

“A poncho does not explain why your, how you say, bottom was also dry,” said Inspector Henri.

“Actually, it does,” said Cory Clay. “My poncho has a detachable seat cushion, so I can always have a dry butt while watching sporting events. It’s a really great product. Very practical.”

“I’m sorry, Monsieur Clay,” said Inspector Henri, “but you really expect me to believe that this, how you say, poncho was also a, how you say, seat cushion?”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Cory Clay said.

“Pardon?” Inspector Henri stopped pacing. “Why do I keep saying, how you say, what?”

“That,” said Cory Clay, sitting forward. “‘How you say.’ Your English is impeccable, but you keep saying it like you’re searching for a phrase. Honestly, it’s a bit weird. Like, you’re laying it on just a little too thick. And if you weren’t such a respected inspector, I’d almost think this whole French guy thing was a ruse to throw people off your trail while you commit a variety of crimes that you then just happen to be around to solve, landing a number of innocent people in jail with your intense powers of persuasion.”

“I have no further questions for you,” Inspector Henri said, curtly. “You are, how you say, dismissed, Monsieur Clay.”

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