4-for-Tuesday: MAX Safety Security Light
- You get four of these night light / security light & alarm / flashlight / powerbank / alarm extender things. Confused? Read on
- The motion-activated night light function has adjustable brightness so it doesn’t totally freak out house guests
- The security light & alarm function makes a ruckus and flashes lights to freak out intruders. You have to set it manually and it will go off with any motion, so it’s probably best for vacations
- The built-in flashlight combined with the motion-activated night light means you won’t have to crawl around like an idiot when the power goes out
- The powerbank function isn’t anything fancy (600 mAh is good for a few extra hours on your phone) but still outperforms most night lights
- The “Co-Alert Alarm Detection System” goes off if it hears any other smoke or carbon monoxide alarms – cool and weird, right?
- Still not sure WTF it does? Check out this video that endeavors to demonstrate the many features
- Model: MAX-One-HD1a (Fans of Rochester’s famous garbage plate will surely enjoy this unslightly heap of inconsistent capitalization, hyphens, and meaninglessness)
But Wait, There (Really) Is More!
Often, products fail because they’re missing a key feature. Sometimes, they fail because they have too many features. This one failed in brick and mortar retailers for good reason: It performs half a dozen functions, few of which are explained by the retail packaging, which reads: “Safety, Security, Power, and beautiful Lighting without the complexity.” What the hell does that mean?
Here’s our pitch: “It’s a motion-activated night light that also acts as a security alarm, emergency flashlight, and powerbank.” (Amazing what a couple verbs can do.)
The MAX people made a video that tries to explain these many, varied features, but it fails almost as spectacularly as the packaging. We’ll try to help them out.
Wow. Just wow. Nothing makes us feel safer than knowing that this product will provide some vague sense of security if we “Simply plug it in!”
Real explanation: You can set this to “security mode” when you leave the house. It will then flash and make loud abrasive noises when it detects movement, deterring intruders. Obviously that’s not as good as a real security system, but as an add-on feature it’s pretty nifty. We wouldn’t recommend this for cat owners, unless you sadistically enjoy scaring the crap out of your cats.
This one was pretty hard to mess up. It’s a night light. We all know what night lights do. But wait, there’s more …
This one only turns on when you walk by and can be adjusted from non-circadian-rythym-messing-with (low) to feline-terrifying (high).
Also pretty self-explanatory. These hold a charge (as we’ll learn in the final step, for some reason) and have a little built-in LED flashlight for emergencies.
Less obvious is what’s happening in this scene. “Honey, the power’s out and we’ve got to get out of town. Bring only what you need: An emergency flashlight, some dress shirts, and every tie you own. Only the essentials.”
Finally we arrive at the most important feature – the thing that separates this from other night lights. It’s a freakin’ powerbank! Or, if you prefer incoherence, “Portable USB Charger with Battery Backup.”
The combination of a powerbank and nightlight gives you an excuse to do something really handy: You can leave several powerbanks charging in the wall and it won’t look weird or cluttered. That alone, without the other features, makes this product intriguing.
But wait, there’s more (that’s not even explained in the video). It’s one of the weirdest and least expected features we’ve ever encountered. It’s called “Co-Alert Alarm Detection System”:
The MAX Safety Light listens for your existing smoke and carbon monoxide alarms. When it detects an alarm it will light up brightly, sound an audible alarm and strobe 2 times per second to alert you to an emergency in your home and help you find your way to safety.
So it acts like an alarm range extender, like a Wi-Fi range extender, that listens for any other alarm and emits its own if it hears one. What an incredibly weird, cool feature to throw into a night light as an afterthought. It must have taken some serious engineering to make that work, right? That team must be pretty butthurt that MAX left their baby out of the marketing materials.
But wait, there’s more! It also (based on the last screen grab) bakes delicious chocolate chip cookies!
