4-Pack: Allersoft 100% Cotton Bed Bug, Dust Mite & Allergy Control Pillow Case
- Keeps dust mites, bed bugs, pet dander and other allergens off your beautiful, delicate face
- Made in the U.S.A. so you know it’s high quality (or protected by tariffs)
- 100% cotton so you know it’s as soft as a … cotton … thing
- Wash and dry like you would anything else, what’s wrong with you?
- Model: 10001k4, 10002k4, 10003k4 (Another example of high-quality American craftsmanship)
Bugging Out
Most of the 2,221 (at press time) Amazon reviewers for these pillow covers seem to use them for their anti-allergy, anti-dust-mite properties. If you’re allergic to dust (mites), you know exactly how big of a deal that is. If you don’t, you never will.
The covers also protect against — trigger warning — bed bugs. And if you’ve never had bed bugs, that might sound silly. After all, don’t bed bugs populate the entire bedroom, so you’d need to protect everything to stave off infestation?
If you’ve ever had bed bugs, you know the answer: “Yes.”
Meh writer @skemmehs here, not too proud to admit that I have experienced a bed bug infestation. The experience left me with lasting emotional scars. Those little fuckers get into everything, hide everywhere, copulate furiously, and make one’s life a waking (and sleeping) nightmare. Defeating them requires doing every single thing right.
You may laugh, you have never beheld the insectoid face of evil. I would never wish them on my worst enemies, but I hope that, should you encounter the dread beasts, you remember these words of warning. Underestimate them not.
Of course, underestimating a threat that one has never experienced is a common human trait. Until you’ve had your car broken into and your Phish CDs stolen, you won’t understand why others insist on stowing valuables out of sight. Until you’ve dyed your brand-new white shirt an unseemly fuchsia, you won’t understand why others are so preoccupied with separating colors. And until you’ve been bed-bugged, you won’t understand the depths of human suffering.
We survivors will carry these neuroses the rest of our lives like so many eggs carried on luggage. We understand the value of proactively protecting our pillows. So go ahead: Laugh! Call us mad!
But beware.
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4-Pack: Allersoft 100% Cotton Bed Bug, Dust Mite & Allergy Control Pillow Case 46
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MAGNUM, P.I. theme (w/lyrics) 6
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Ever had your car broken into? 74
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Tomorrows the day! 19 -
The most Seventies scene in 1970s TV 76 -
Favorite pretentious place to drink your coffee. 59 -
Need help with monthly charges 5 -
How does Meh get these deals? 1