3-Pack: Performance Tech Fleece Shorts with Long Zippered Pocket

  • Like pants but less pant-y
  • You got your normal pockets as well as a long zippered pocket for extra storage
  • Waist is wide with drawstrings for easy adjustments
  • Here’s a sizing chart
  • The reviews are in: “They are actually really nice
  • What OS do they run: Short-Tec OS 390+
see more product specs

Don't Be Short With Me

Hello, it’s me, that minor but essential item you didn’t realize you were out of.

Maybe I’m salt. Or olive oil. Maybe I’m flour. Sugar. Toilet paper, perhaps. Dish soap.

It doesn’t really matter. The truth is, I’m not delusional. I realize that I’m nothing to get excited about. But I also understand that my lack of sex appeal is my greatest weapon. You see, if I were something more interesting, you’d remember to stop for me on your commute. Or you’d plan a whole shopping trip around me. But no. You only have to buy me every few weeks, maybe even every few months.

And so, I am like a ninja. I sneak up undetected and strike when it is most inconvenient: when you are home from work, out of your office slacks, and ready to put on your pajamas or your bathrobe, make a quick dinner, and retire to the couch to watch Netflix. Only then do I make my presence–or should I say lack of presence–known. Only then do you realize you have no seasoning, or no fat, or no gluten, or no sweetness, or nothing with which to wipe, or nothing with which to tame the tower of dishes accumulating in your sink.

In other words, just as you get comfortable, I force you out into the night, to run to the store.

Now, this shouldn’t be all that complicated. You could simply put your work clothes back on. But this would be letting me win. Furthermore, it would be breaking the cardinal (albeit unwritten) rule of American corporate culture that all business casual attire be donned immediately before leaving for the office and shed the instant one gets in the door after the workday is over.

On the other hand, you could go to the store in your pajamas, but this too breaks a silent dictum: that, as a functional member of society, you never wear comfy sleep clothes outside the house, except in the case of an ironic pub-crawl.

So what do you wear when you must leave the comforts of home on a summer night? What do you put on that possesses neither the rigidity of your work wardrobe nor the shapeless schlubby qualities of your flannel pants?

A pair of these shorts, that’s what.

They’re simple enough to slip on yet structural enough not to seem obscene, they’re super soft, and they’ve got two side pockets as well as a large rear zippered pocket for extra storage. What’s more: they’re well-reviewed, with Meh users saying “They are actually really nice” and “Wow…these actually exceeded my expectations!”

In other words, they’re the perfect, most comfortable thing to wear if you want to appear like a semi-respectable human being while running a casual errand, like shopping for me, that minor but essential item you didn’t realize you were out of.

So far today...

  • 47678 of you visited.
  • 43% on a phone, 2% on a tablet.
  • 3065 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 532 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $17597 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

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