2-Pack: Zen Bamboo Foam Semicircle Bolster Pillows

  • Sturdy support that goes right where you need it
  • Firm but soft memory foam material
  • Breathable bamboo blend cover keeps you cool and comfy
  • What’s a dumber and less satisfying way to prop yourself up in bed? Maybe a wadded-up (but still awesome) teeshirt from Mediocritee
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A Bedtime Story

[grunt pant grumble]

“Hey man, aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

“Yeah, yeah. It just takes some work first.”

“It seems like it shouldn’t take that much work.”

“See, I have this sloppy rectangle pillow. What I really need is a very sturdy semi-circle…”

“It’s story time.”

“Please let’s not—“

Long ago there was a tiny mouse who couldn’t sleep.

She tossed and she turned, struggling to get comfortable in her tiny mousey bed.

Then a bunch of increasingly tedious but ultimately irrelevant things happened, because you can’t publish a children’s book that’s three pages long.

But ultimately, a wise creature—owl or some shit—reaches up into the sky and plucks down the half moon from a deep purple blanket of stars, tucking it supportively under that whiny little mouse, just…obliterating all sorts of tidal phenomena to say nothing of traditional methods of timekeeping and navigation.

“Is there a point you were working towards here?”

It’s just in these stupid stories, somebody is always fucking with the moon or turning off the sun or blowing the clouds away with a kiss. You get rid of the moon like that and somewhere there’s an indigenous population that can no longer raft their livestock downstream at high tide because THERE IS NO HIGH—

“THE PILLOW. Did you have a point about the pillow?”

Oh, for sure. A good memory foam booster is a great way to get comfortable. It’s probably best to get two, but they can be pricey. Find a deal, definitely.

“Hmm. Harold probably did some damage with that purple crayon, huh?”

Broke the law of conservation of mass completely. Entire swathes of the multiverse swallowed in a black hole.

“Probably a purple hole?”

Yeah, probably a purple hole.

So far today...

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  • 500 of these.
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  • (including shipping)

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