Keep It Compartmentalized

Ed sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs of the service station waiting area, nervously drinking burnt, watery coffee and trying to read a book while a television in the corner showed HGTV at what had to be its loudest possible setting. Finally, after an interminably long time, the mechanic came in.

“Mr. Vincent,” the mechanic said.

Ed stood nervously. “Yes?” he said.

“So, you said you heard a strange bumping in the rear wheelwell whenever you went around a corner,” the mechanic said.

“That’s right.” Ed took a deep breath. “Just tell me what I’m dealing with, please. What’s the damage?”

“You’ve got a lemon,” the mechanic said.

Ed felt as though he could cry. “Really? It’s that bad, huh? This is my life now? I either get rid of the car, taking a huge loss, or I’m here week after week, with a new issue? Is that what you mean?”

“I mean,” said the mechanic, “that you’ve got a lemon.” From a pocket in his overalls, he produced an old, petrified piece of fruit. “Like, a literal lemon.”

Ed squinted at it, confused. “I don’t follow.”

“It probably came out of a grocery bag,” the mechanic explained. “It was rolling around in your trunk, bumping into your umbrella and the old pair of boots you keep for weather emergencies. And then there’s the tennis ball, the old ice scraper, and all that. It was all clanging around like wild back there. That’s what the sound was. Honestly, Mr. Vincent, your trunk was fucking mess.”

“Hey now,” Ed said, “I don’t like your tone, mister!”

“Oh, really, is that so?” The mechanic crossed his arms. “In that case, you’ll fix your own car from now on, I assume?”

Ed said… nothing.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” the mechanic said. “Anyway, I managed to fix it up for you. I installed a couple soft-sided trunk organizers. They can be expanded to fit just about any vehicle, and each one features several compartments. Not to mention, if you need to take them out and restore your trunk to a wide open space, they collapse down to nothing.”

“Oh, wow,” Ed said. “That sounds great. How much do I owe you?”

“Well, in terms of parts: the two-pack of organizers I got on Meh dot com for just twenty-five bucks, plus five dollars for shipping,” said the mechanic.

Ed was surprised. “Wow, that’s actually not bad!”

“Labor is nine hundred eighty-seven dollars, fifty-six cents,” the mechanic went on.

“Yep,” Ed said. “that’s more than I expected.”