2-for-Tuesday: Meh Stadium Blankets
- Two blankets unapologetically covered with our crappy logo
- They’re "stadium blankets” inasmuch as warm hats are “stadium hats”
- 100% cotton and 1000% mediocre
- Not much else to say about them, really, unless you’re unfamiliar with the concept of blankets
- Model: MSB¯_(ツ)_/¯3000
A Blanket of Meh-ny Uses
You might think that, by selling these blankets emblazoned with our logo, we’re swindling you into purchasing an enormous billboard for our company. And you wouldn’t be wrong.
But that ignores the countless ways in which this blanket could be used to tremendous effect at the next sporting event you attend. Among them:
- Disputing a bad call by a referee/umpire/beauty pageant judge by holding the blanket high above your head. “Meh” is the new “boo!”
- Distracting a player of the opposing team by waving it furiously during a free throw/shootout/penalty kick. Having grown accustomed to over-the-top negativity and vitriol, these hardened pro athletes will be baffled by the insouciant neutrality of “Meh,” and shank.
- Deterring the camera operators from choosing you and your partner as subjects for the Kiss Cam. Or, if chosen, providing a hilarious means of refusing the Kiss Cam’s imperative. “Kiss him?? Meh,” your blanket will say, much to the attended masses’ enjoyment.
- Drawing the attention of the camera operators during the “dancing” segment between innings/periods/best-in-breed judgments. Worn as a cape with nothing save body paint and underpants beneath, this blanket will immediately transform you into a stadium legend. “The Dancing Meh Guy” local legend will name you.
- Demonstrating your muted patriotism during the next Olympiad by adding an “A” before the logo and a “rica!” after. Are you making a political statement? Unsure how to spell your own country’s name? Millions of viewers will be confused and intrigued.
- Dropping it on the ground halfway through the game/match/Rachmaninoff recital so people stop asking you about your blanket. It was funny for a bit but you’re sick of explaining to the elderly philharmonic crowd what a daily deal site is and why you bought a blanket bearing the logo of one.
See? It’s much more than a blatant advertisement you’re paying for. It’s also a blanket.