2-for-Tuesday: Boom Swap On/Over-Ear Headphones
- Tough, resilient plastic headband for postapocalyptic use
- Swap out on-ear cups, over-ear cups, and trim colors, because that’s one of the few things left in the world you can control
- 40mm speaker drivers will seem like a miracle of ancient technology to the primitive dwellers of a shattered future
- $10 less than last time: the price is collapsing like post-industrial society
- Model numbers: SWGR-A, SWWH-A, SWBK-A (the first four letters of each one are a good start, but… hyphens! hyphens! pointless doubleclick-busting gratuitous evil hyphens! damn them all to model-number hell!)
Sound Currency
“Please, brother, have a heart,” the oil vendor said, his left eyebrow quivering as he struggled not to weep. “I’ve got a family to feed.”
“Not my problem,” Royle shrugged. “Over in the Strontium Zone I can get two barrels of gasoline for one pair of Boom Swap headphones. I’m doing you a favor with this price. Take it or leave it.”
The oil vendor’s entire body seemed to sag as he conceded defeat. “I’ll take it.”
Without another thought, Royle handed over one pair of Boom Swap headphones and wheeled his new barrel of fuel away through the bazaar. He’d power the compound for two months with this.
He put on another pair of Boom Swap headphones to drown out the oil vendor’s sobs. Why should Royle feel guilty about doing business? He hadn’t created this world where Boom Swap headphones were the only reliable currency. He’d just had the luck to be in a position to profit from it.
Did the Canadians feel bad about tunneling into Fort Knox to steal America’s gold reserves? Did Starbucks feel bad about spreading that brain-eating virus? Did the upper class feel bad about abandoning Earth for Hedonia-X, their artificial pleasure planet built on one of Saturn’s moons?
After all those shocks, after the collapse of everything they knew, the ragged remnant of humanity turned to the only thing it could trust: a sturdy headband and 40mm speaker drivers. The collapse of the existing order brought a new freedom to choose on-ear or over-ear cups, to mix and match trim color combinations.
And it just so happened that in the Time Before, Royle had stockpiled Boom Swap headphones. Maybe he’d had an intuition things were heading that way, that the future belonged to the people behind Polk Audio. Maybe he just couldn’t resist that $10 price drop for a two-pack. Whatever it was, he’d parlayed his Boom Swap reserves into a position as one of the emerging lords of the new order.
For the first time in years, he wondered what happened to all his old Meh friends, the ones who hadn’t had the foresight to buy Boom Swap headphones while they were plentiful and cheap. But Royle couldn’t stand to dwell on it too long. Their possible fates were too sad. The fools! Why hadn’t they listened? The fools!
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2-for-Tuesday: Boom Swap On/Over-Ear Headphones 109
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