4-for-Tuesday: Xsories 9,000mAh Sneaker Power Bank

  • What looks like the bottom of a shoe and charges your devices? This isn’t a riddle. It’s this thing.
  • Can provide 4 full charges for most smart devices when it itself is fully charged. But can it charge another XSories Sneaker Bank?!
  • You get 4 of them so you can find out!
  • Okay, so the sneaker casing does provide extra protection in case you drop it.
  • Model: SNKR5A601 (but if they were cool it would be $N34K3RZ)
see more product specs

But Why?

In the study, the inspector gathered together the suspects. “Mysteries often seem to those who do not stake their livelihood on solving them to be obscene tangles of lies and deceptions, a complicated and impossible to declutter mess of ill-will,” he said. “But as an inspector, I know it all comes apart easily if you only manage to find and answer the mystery’s central question. Take this, for example.”

The inspector removed something from his pocket.

“What is it?” asked the oil baron.

“It’s an XSories Sneaker Bank,” the inspector answered. “Now, its utility is not in question. It is a portable USB charger, with two ports that allows you to charge two devices at once, even if you’re away from an outlet. It’s lightweight, can provide four full charges, and has an indicator light the lets you know exactly how much power you have left. And yet, why does it look like the sole of a sneaker?”

“Perhaps,” said the disgraced film starlet, “it is to protect the device.”

“That’s a good point,” said the former tennis star. “Shoe rubber is the only thing that kept my ankles safe while I toured the world collecting trophies.”

“Certainly, this is true,” the inspector said. “But you’re not hearing the question. Yes, the show rubber does provide protection, but simply having a rubber casing would be enough, no? It does not need to look like a shoe to absorb the impact of the ground. So why does it look like a shoe then? This is the central question.”

“Excuse me, inspector, sir,” said the rowdy young sailor, “but what does this have to do with the murder of Madame Exley?”

“Oh, sorry,” the inspector said. “That was the oil baron. I thought you all knew.”

The two policemen present seized the oil baron. “Yes, that’s right, I did it,” he shouted, squirming in their grip, “and I’ll tell you why, too! If you’ll just listen!”

But nobody was paying him any attention. The rest had stepped forward to examine, along with the inspector, the XSories Sneaker Bank.

And you bought...

  • 1491 of these.
  • Paused from 3:02pm - 4pm ET (see more)
  • That’s $33983 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?