More! More! More!

Wow, cool! What an exciting thing to sell!

Yes, that likely comes across as facetious. After all, we’ve sold a lot of fans these last few months. We even had a fan sale as recently as Monday, in which the write-up was… umm… let’s call it a “loosely fictional” account of a deal copywriter nearly having a mental break due to writing copy for so many fans.

You know what, though? Today, we’re genuinely excited! Because, yes, this is another fan. But then again, it’s so much more than a fan. It’s also:

An Early Morning House De-Stinker

We don’t know where you live, but where we are, the highs each day are still looking pretty summery, so the AC is on for a lot of the day. The lows, however? They’re starting to actually dip down a bit. Which means, each morning, there’s a window to, well, open up your windows and let the stale stink out of your house. This amazing product can help with that process by moving that air around!

A Kitchen Smoke Removal System

Maybe you don’t have a hood vent over your stove. Or maybe the hood vent is old and hard to clean so it doesn’t have the sucking power it once did. Or maybe you just really managed to burn the shit out of something. Point is, your kitchen is full of eye-stinging smoke, and you need a way to remove it. Well, it’s easy: simply situate this amazing device in an open door or window and watch the smoke dissipate… slightly quicker than it would otherwise.

The Best White Noise Machine

So many white noise machines these days pump out digital noise. What’s more, they provide too many options. Some even let you mix different noises together. It’s the paradox of choice every night before bed. So annoying, right? Well, you don’t need to deal with any of that if you opt for this amazing simple white noise machine (that also blows air around)! Its non-digital noise comes in just three spee-- err-- sound settings, so you can sleep easy without any difficult decisions! (But please, forget we said any of this the next time we sell a white noise machine.)

See? It’s not just a fan! It can do many, many things (that most fans can do)! So get one! It’s got a remote!