The goat lives. The Fuko is awarded.

MrsPavlov111 went on a bit of a rant said
72

Hi everyone! @Pavlov is doing well. He has one (hopefully) final small surgery ahead of him next week, and then he's on to physical therapy once he is released. I keep telling him that if he doesn't behave, he's going to end up in a nursing home until he is better - he's quite the handful (and I don't know how much more I can take).

He consistently calls and asks the switchboard for "Dr. Brody" to be paged (they occasionally still actually fall for it - he's disappointed when more people don't get the joke). He has actually tried to tip a few of the better looking nurses and female aides by holding dollar bills between his teeth after his sponge bath (I now have to attend to it myself as they refuse - go figure) - and when he disagrees with a treatment plan he nags his physicians into submission telling them that they have all taken a "hypocritical oath". They now refrain from even attempting to correct him. The nutritionist left in tears after losing an argument with him regarding the efficacy and safety of a long term modified "Atkins" based meal plan, and he sent her a huge box of Omaha Steaks "as an apology" (she follows a strict vegan diet). She sent the steaks back to the room with a kind note of refusal of the gift, so he talked the night shift nursing supervisor into bringing a hibachi on her day off and she wheeled him to a courtyard and they grilled the steaks two at a time outside and gave them to the staff on his floor with a note "Compliments of __ (he inserted the nutritionist's name). She got 30 notes of thanks the next morning for the wonderful steaks (and now she has a carnivore label slapped on her by extension)

Three times now I have confiscated beer from his room. He won't tell me how he gets it brought up to him or where they keep it for him, but the empties always outnumber the full - and somehow, they are always ice cold. With regards to his drinking by the way, he now proclaims that pills are better and faster and has decided that this experience has taught him that morphine might be a better choice. That conversation ended quickly when I realized he might be serious and I started throwing things at his balls - and the bedside lamp I heaved at him subsequently connected with the intended target.

He quickly recanted.

@Starblind - I'm sorry there was a mix up awarding you the box that was prepared prior to my leaving for Minnesota. I'm back in KC this evening and after discussing things with @Pavlov, we've decided to award you the fukōbukuro that was slated for later this month instead of sending you a box of knives, rechargeable batteries, Pinewood Derby cars, etc. We've something very special in mind to reward you for your patience.

So - we give to you, fukōbukuro, literally. You, @Starblind, are now the proud owner of fukobukuro.com and utsubukuro.com. Use them well, or sell them in the domain secondary market - or have a contest of your own and pass them on to some other sucker - it is completely up to you - they belong to you. Enjoy owning Fuko. Contact me at the email address you have on file, and we'll get the transfer done expeditiously. I will be available at that address from now on - it will not be (mis)handled by my husband's office.

@JonT, @Pavlov sends his warmest regards to you and to everyone at Mediocre for the wonderfully thoughtful get well card. Thank you all for your kind thoughts. It was a wonderful surprise, and it made his day!

And, a HUGE thank you to the Meh community for all of the good wishes expressed here in the forum and those sent via email. Your comments and hope for a speedy recovery go a long way to brightening what have been quite a few dim days.

I've got to run - I popped down here to get my son and take him up for Father's Day - which also happens to fall on our son's eleventh birthday this year!

Thanks again everyone!