Fukobukuro 19: Fools Rush In
- This is a Fukobukuro, an unlucky bag
- That means it’s filled with worthless junk you wouldn’t buy knowingly, and you shouldn’t buy it sight unseen either
- We used to sell the same sort of thing as a “Fukubukuro”, or “lucky bag”, but the contents couldn’t live up to the name
- Before that, we used to sell the same sort of thing as a “BoC” (Bag of Crap) at Woot, but someone else runs that business now
- Long before that, you got your Japanese custom of Fukubukuro dating to the Meiji period, but all we really know about that is what’s on Wikipedia
- ONLY BUY ONE. Multiple orders will be canceled.
- (Or buy zero, if you’re smart.)
- Model: APRFU06
Mediocrebot's Prankstravaganza / Massacre
MEDIOCREBOT IS LEARNING
PREVIOUS PRANK ATTEMPTS WERE UNSUCCESSFUL
WORKING THEORY: PRANK VICTIMS WERE UNAPPRECIATIVE OF EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING AND/OR FATAL PRANKS
MEDIOCREBOT WILL TEST THIS THEORY WITH THE “BODY SPRAY BOMB” PRANK: A 1 GALLON CAN OF AXE BODY SPRAY (“CAMARO PUBES” SCENT) HAS BEEN AFFIXED TO THE BOTTOM OF YOLANDA’S OFFICE CHAIR
THE AMOUNT OF AXE BODY SPRAY RELEASED WILL BE 1% LOWER THAN THE FATAL DOSE, ASSURING YOLANDA’S SAFETY
…
YOLANDA TYPICALLY WORKS FROM HOME
…
MEDIOCREBOT WILL INITIATE THE PRANK AT YOLANDA’S HOME OFFICE
…
FAILURE: MEDIOCREBOT CALCULATED LETHAL DOSE OF AXE BODY SPRAY BASED ON THE “STANDARD TEXAN” MEASUREMENT (270 LB MALE W/ SLEEP APNEA). YOLANDA WAS A 140 LB WOMAN WITH AN UNOBSTRUCTED AIRWAY
THE COUNTY HAS DECLARED YOLANDA’S HOME A SUPERFUND SITE