Mediocrebot's Prankstravaganza / Massacre

Frank attempted to storm the Whataburger counter but years of a sedentary lifestyle combined with a very recent heavy meal made it difficult. He floundered atop the counter for a minute or so, and had to fall back before redoubling his efforts to make it into the staff area.

Unfortunately this gave the teens behind the counter enough time to prepare a counter-assault. Several months of minimum wage food service work and stereotypical teen angst led them to a medieval tactic: they threw the fryer basket at Frank.

Luckily for Frank most of the oil had drained, but he still suffered essentially a shotgun blast of boiling oil and bits of fried batter to his face. In between his shrieks of pain, he began screaming for his “cyber warriors” to come to his aid.

At that point Frank’s Aunt Luanne entered the restaurant and led him back outside to her Ford Astro van to flee the scene.

The restaurant staff never bothered calling the police.