No Jive

Hey, I’m here! Now the fun can get started! It’s just not a party without - what do you mean, who am I? It’s me! It’s your old buddy the Ron Popeil 5-in-1 Cooking System!Nothing? Not ringing any bells?Sigh… fine. You probably know me as “the turkey fryer”.But I’ve changed my name because I’m about so much more than that. Remember all the good times we’ve had during holiday seasons past? Now I’m ready to make more delicious memories five different ways! I can make rice! I can steam! I can steam-bake! I can deep-fry donuts and fish and pakoras and crab Rangoon!Don’t take my word for it. When my very good friend the legendary Flavor Flav hypes me up, it’s all about the ribs.https://meh.com/go/yt-9c342d61f4e416fbb26d68f3d03f1f0f Who are you going to trust more when it comes to food than the guy with “flavor” in his name one-and-a-half times? His first thought is how the baby back ribs are “off the bone, baby”, and only later is he “like woooooooow” about the turkey.So yeah, sure, I can deep-fry a turkey. But that’s not all I am. I’m not ashamed of the fact that I can fry a 15-pound turkey in 46 minutes. But neither am I defined by it. I’m a five-tool player. I’m a quintuple threat. I’m a multifaceted culinary superstar with so much more to offer. Succulent, crispy turkey is only the beginning.Yes, when you let me show you my range, when you see how I can steam, deep-fry, bake, and cook rice, you’ll understand why I call myself a 5-in-1 Cooking Sys-Uh, what? The fifth one? Oh. Yeah. It’s, uh, boil. I can hold water and, you know, boil it or whatever. I think they just wanted to get me up to a nice round 5. It’s not that impressive. But so what? You don’t have to call me “the boiler”. Just don’t call me “the turkey fryer”.