Let's settle this robot-style.

Fighting robots? For Christmas? Tell us you’re not already imagining the holiday smackdowns you can deliver this season. This year, you can release all those built-up family tensions the most satsifying way possible: with a flurry of devastating jabs and hooks. And nobody has to go to the hospital or jail.

It’s a kick-ass gift anyway. Glow-in-the-dark remote-control robots that fight. Hits you right in the juvenilia, doesn’t it? Kids, adults, teens, tweens, pre-tweens, post-tweens, seniors, sophomores, Episcopalians, errbody can dig on a robot fight for real. That’s why nobody will suspect the true motive behind your generosity: to use them to settle some long-festering scores with your nog-soused relations. Give them as a gift to somebody and you’ll be a hero (especially if you remember the 10 AAA batteries this set needs). Later, when everybody’s bellies are full, sometime after Trivial Pursuit but before poker, just make an idle suggestion. Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to give those RoboSmasherz a try?

What nobody will know is that you bought two sets: one to give, and one to keep. And you’ve been practicing for weeks. And maybe you made the eggnog extra-strong but you’ve been pouring yours in that big potted plant when nobody was looking.

POW! Take that, Aunt Trudy! WHAM! That’ll teach you, Dad! SMACK! How about a little fire, cousin Brent? You’ll be weaving and dodging, spinning and punching, your RoboSmasher pounding a few home truths into their RoboSmasher’z electronic brain. Where’s your political rant now, loser? Still got something to say about my weight? Regretting all those years of substandard gifts yet? Whatever your grievance, oh, how good it’ll feel to confront your familial tormentors on the field of digital honor, and feel the triumphant adrenaline rush of -

…er, having fun. Having fun family time. Right. Sorry we got a little carried away there. Just innocent fun. Family. Yeah. And if you just happen to exact revenge on those among your kinfolk who have slighted you, consider that a little gift to yourself.