We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

RAVPower Prime 26800mAh 3-Port Power Bank

  • 26800 is a lot of mAh
  • Even in this economy
  • 2 USB ports, Type-C compatibility, all that good stuff
  • Will not arrive by Christmas
  • Model: RP-PB067, because it’s Really Pretty Prettttyyyy Badass
see more product specs

No Need To Complicate Things

Old Mr. Klipton maneuvered his rusty pickup onto the highway, while Bobby looked out the window, amazed at what they’d just discovered.

“So, if what that lady said is true, then it must be Ms. Danders,” Bobby said.

“There’s simply no other possibility,” Mr. Klipton said.

“I just feel so stupid,” Bobby said. “She’s the hip young math teacher, so when she volunteered to help me and Donna figure it all out, I thought it was because she was concerned. But really, she was just covering her tracks.”

“And now Donna’s alone with her,” Mr. Klipton said, “exploring that cave in Skettles Park.”

“Mr. Klipton, I’m sorry,” Bobby said. “I should never have suspected you of being the Masked Stabber. You’re a good man, and a great janitor.”

“No time for the sappy stuff, Bobby,” Mr. Klipton said.

“Just open up your heart, Mr. Klipton!”

“No, Bobby, it’s not that.” He took one hand off the wheel and placed it on Bobby’s shoulder. “You’re the son I never had. And I mean that. Truly. I know you botched the pass in the big game last week, but this? What you’ve done to solve this mystery? It’s bigger than any touchdown. But right now? You need to call the authorities and send them to that cave, because Donna’s in trouble.”

Bobby wiped tears from his eyes. “You’re right! Here, let me just dial-- Oh no! My phone is dead! Now we have no choice but hightail it to the cave ourselves, where we’ll have an epic showdown with Ms. Danders, or should I say, the Masked Stabber!”

Mr. Klipton shook his head. “Not necessary. I’ve got a RAVPower Prime Power Bank in my glove compartment. It’s got a 26800mAh capacity, Type-C compatibility, and two USB ports. So just plug in your phone and you’ll have enough juice to dial 911 in a few minutes.”

“Oh,” Bobby said.

“What’s wrong?” Mr. Klipton asked.

“Just a little anticlimactic is all.”

Mr. Klipton shrugged. “You’ll get that in life.”

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