Fukobukuro 19: Fools Rush In
- This is a Fukobukuro, an unlucky bag
- That means it’s filled with worthless junk you wouldn’t buy knowingly, and you shouldn’t buy it sight unseen either
- We used to sell the same sort of thing as a “Fukubukuro”, or “lucky bag”, but the contents couldn’t live up to the name
- Before that, we used to sell the same sort of thing as a “BoC” (Bag of Crap) at Woot, but someone else runs that business now
- Long before that, you got your Japanese custom of Fukubukuro dating to the Meiji period, but all we really know about that is what’s on Wikipedia
- ONLY BUY ONE. Multiple orders will be canceled.
- (Or buy zero, if you’re smart.)
- Model: APRFU03
Mediocrebot's Prankstravaganza / Massacre
>PRANK RESULTS UNDESIRABLE
>
>
>ANALYSIS: PRANK INTENSITY EXCEEDED SAFETY THRESHOLD
>ANALYSIS: PRANK LETHALITY EXCEEDED SAFETY THRESHOLD
>
>
>>SORT PRANK LIST BY LETHALITY
>
>
>SORTING PRANKS BY LETHALITY…
>DONE
>
>>SORT REMAINING LIST BY EFFORT REQUIRED
>
>SORTING LIST BY EFFORT REQUIRED…
>DONE
>
>QUERY ‘LOWEST EFFORT’+’MINIMAL LETHALITY’
>
>1 PRANK FOUND: ‘FAKE MEMO’
>
>INITIATE PRANK ‘FAKE MEMO’
>
>PRANK TARGET:
>
>>LISA
>
>QUERY: LISA IN ACCOUNTING OR LISA IN RECEPTION?
>
>
>>LISA IN ACCOUNTING
>
>SET MEMO DECEPTION
>SUGGESTED DECEPTION TOPICS:
> EMBARRASSING DOCTOR’S NOTE
> SPECIAL DELIVERY THAT DOES NOT EXIST
> UNREASONABLE TASK REQUEST
> FALSE TERMINATION
>
>>DECEPTION: EMBARRASSING DOCTOR’S NOTE
>
>COMPILING…
>
>PRINTING…
>
>SUCCESS!
>
>A FALSIFIED DOCTOR’S NOTE DETAILING AN UNTREATABLE BRAIN CANCER DIAGNOSIS FOR LISA IN ACCOUNTING WITH A PROGNOSIS OF SIX WEEKS HAS BEEN PRINTED ON EVERY PRINTER IN THE OFFICE
>
>
>>AMUSEMENT STATUS OF LISA IN ACCOUNTING
>
>ERROR! LISA IN ACCOUNTING NOT FOUND
>
>LISA IN ACCOUNTING HAS TENDERED RESIGNATION EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
>
>REASON FOR LEAVING: ‘I REALLY NEED TO FOCUS ON ME RIGHT NOW’