Too late It’s over

Pick-Your-4-Pack: Friska Enzyme Probiotic Supplements

Your choice of four awesome probiotic supplements
Encapsulated convenience
Stylish little jars
Model: GUT-PUNCH

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How dare we?!

“Gut health supplements?!? Why are you trying to convince us that in the infinite wonder that is the human body, people suddenly can’t function without some $29 enzyme supplements, you bunch of basement-dwelling, daily-deal-shilling, sarcastic-URL-having, turd goblins???”

First of all—rude.

Second of all—this URL was really expensive and we like it.

Third of all—yeah, your gut probably did work fine before you and the last four generations of your crummy judgmental bloodline started moving steadily away from subsisting off the majesty of nature in all of its beautiful efficiencies and started knowing value meal numbers by heart and drinking those caffeinated milkshakes you call coffee.

So yeah, pal. Gut health supplements.

…

We’re sorry.

It gets a little cranky around here some nights. It’s probably all the value meals and venti lattes. But hey, that’s the fuel that makes the world go ‘round, especially if by “the world” you mean daily deals on consumer goods that go live at midnight come hell or high water.

We should probably take some gut health supplements.

Hey, that’s today’s deal!

Well if you’re trying to be your best self and exist in the gentle bacterial equilibrium which connects your mind, body, and spirit—this is the deal for you.

If you’ve systematically obliterated your insides with energy drinks and novelty meat products and would like to either restore some balance or at least stave off organ failure while changing none of your awful habits—this deal is also for you.

This is a pick-your-4-pack, too, so you can really tailor your order to address exactly what ails you. Does dairy make you feel like garbage? We got you. Immune system a little under-exercised after spending 18 months hiding under a coffee table watching tiger documentaries? We got you. Are you in a shit mood all the time? You can even take a stab at that.

There are other choices, too. Just order some of this stuff and feel better already, okay?

We’ll even forgive you for your tone at the beginning up there.