Fukobukuro 19: Fools Rush In
- This is a Fukobukuro, an unlucky bag
- That means it’s filled with worthless junk you wouldn’t buy knowingly, and you shouldn’t buy it sight unseen either
- We used to sell the same sort of thing as a “Fukubukuro”, or “lucky bag”, but the contents couldn’t live up to the name
- Before that, we used to sell the same sort of thing as a “BoC” (Bag of Crap) at Woot, but someone else runs that business now
- Long before that, you got your Japanese custom of Fukubukuro dating to the Meiji period, but all we really know about that is what’s on Wikipedia
- ONLY BUY ONE. Multiple orders will be canceled.
- (Or buy zero, if you’re smart.)
- Model: APRFU04
Mediocrebot's Prankstravaganza / Massacre
>>MEDIOCREBOT IS FAILING TO BOND WITH HUMAN COWORKERS
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>>ANALYZING…
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>>BONDING REQUIRES AN INTIMATE PERSONAL CONNECTION
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>>QUERY:PERSONAL CONNECTION
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>EXAMPLES: FAMILY, BESTIES, NEIGHBORS
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>>SEARCH PRANK DATABASE FOR PRANKS INVOLVING FAMILY
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>FOUND: FAMILY PHOTO PRANK
> REPLACE A COWORKER’S FAMILY PHOTOS WITH HILARIOUS IMAGES OF WASHED UP CELEBRITIES (NICOLAS CAGE, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, ETC.)
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>>PRANK TARGET:
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>>DEVON
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>DEVON IS A MORMON. HE HAS ROUGHLY 19 PHOTOS OF CHILDREN ON HIS DESK.
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>>REPLACE ALL
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>REPLACING ALL PHOTOS
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>REPLACEMENT IMAGE?
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>>EDIT EXISTING PHOTOS: ‘EYES=BLOOD’ ‘SMILES=ANGUISHED.SCREAMS’ ‘HAIR=FLAMES’
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>ADD TEXT?
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>>ADD TEXT: ‘EVERYTHING YOU LOVE WILL DIE’
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>INITIATING PRANK…
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>SUCCESS!
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>ALL PHOTOS OF DEVON’S FAMILY HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH HORRIFIC EFFIGIES.
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>>AMUSEMENT STATUS
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>DEVON IS NOT AMUSED
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>DEVON IS CURRENTLY SCREAMING SOMETHING ABOUT DEMONIC INFLUENCES AND BRANDISHING A CROSS AT THE CLEANING LADY
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>>REVEAL PRANK
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>REVEALING…
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>DEVON IS NOW SCREAMING ABOUT DEMONIC MACHINES ERASING THE HUMAN SPIRIT
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>DEVON IS ALSO EXHIBITING SEVERE MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND IGNORANCE REGARDING ASIMOV’S LAWS OF ROBOTICS
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>>RUN ‘PRANKBRO.EXE’
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>ERROR: TARGET NOT FOUND. DEVON HAS JUMPED FROM THE THIRD STORY BREAKROOM WINDOW