Energizer 600A 11,100mAh Lithium Ion Jump Starter & Power Bank (UL 2743)
- A portable, rechargeable jump starter to keep your car going, and going, etc.
- It doubles as a 11,100 mAh powerbank to charge your devices, triples as an emergency flashlight, and quadruples as a paperweight
- “Smart Clamps” mean you won’t fry your battery if you put the clamps on incorrectly like a doofus
- Digital charge indicator prevents you from having two dead batteries at once
- “UL 2743” means it’s been tested and won’t spontaneously burst into flames which, as far as we’re concerned, qualifies as A Good Thing
- Model: ENX12K (We used to love ENX12K back when it was the only good thing on Comedy Central. Those wise-cracking robots sure hate movies! Nice to see Energizer paying homage)
Save Money, Save Time, Save Face
Sure, tell yourself you’re buying this jump starter because you trust the Energizer brand. Or because it’s got surprisingly excellent Amazon reviews. Or because it doubles as a 11100mAh powerbank in case of emergency.
But we know the real reason.
You want to avoid dealing with roadside assistance. Or, more specifically, you want to avoid that slight sense of embarrassment that comes with watching a man in a jumpsuit fix your car while explaining what you did wrong.
“You’ll want to make sure to turn your lights OFF when you leave the car. That’s the problem here. You see, cars start with something called electricity, which is…”
There’s nothing wrong with roadside assistance, per se. It can be a very useful service. But there’s something inexplicably humiliating about calling someone you don’t know and explaining your helpless situation. It makes you feel like you’re back in high school, calling your dad at 1am and begging him to come jump your car in the Circle K parking lot.
It’s the same reason you might buy a drain snake: To avoid the feeling of pathetic helplessness you get while standing in the bathroom, arms crossed, watching a plumber scoop years’ worth of hair from your drain.
Or the reason you steadfastly refuse to accept the help of hotel bellhops, even when it would make your life considerably better. “Let me help you with that, sir. You’re clearly too enfeebled to carry your own suitcase.”
Or the reason you always defend yourself in court – to take care of your embarrassing problems yourself rather than involve a professional.
Yes, there are legitimate reasons to buy a jumping-starting pack for your car. You could save yourself from a hassle. You could save some money in the long run. But most importantly, you could save face.
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Energizer 600A 11,100mAh Lithium Ion Jump Starter & Power Bank (UL 2743) 113
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Ask Irk: Singin' Cowboy? 11
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A you a member of a roadside assistance program like AAA? 42
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Üksi - Hole (6) 7 -
First World Problems: Going on 4th day without ISP service 33 -
Üksi - Dark (5) 3 -
Galileo 7 1 -
~~~ Today in history ~~~ 5