Sidestepping the Competition

There’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s get right to it.

First of all, holy shit, the marketing collateral that came along with this deal is kind of wild. We’ll spare you the details, but the “available now at your local _________” is like a who’s who of the shadiest gas stations and convenience stores your town has to offer.

We don’t want to spoil the fun, so we’ll skip the actual store names, but let’s just say that if you wanted to buy these today instead of waiting for them to ship, you could probably find them by looking at your neighborhood’s crime reports and then heading to the last corner store that got robbed.

And we’re not saying you’ll witness a robbery there—that place can’t get held up every week. But you’d certainly be paying some impulse purchase retail price, and we think you deserve better than that.

So back to the deal.

Oh, man. But first. The branding.

Matador.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that this was just a cheap attempt at leveraging the Red Bull branding after those suckers spent like a billion dollars making rocket skateboards and having dudes skydive from space to build up their name recognition in the energy drink space, but it’s actually a bit more poetic than that.

Because it isn’t about bulls. It’s about matadors. And what do matadors, do? They stand there patiently while an objectively superior physical specimen charges at them with unthinkable power and then they step out of the way at the last second—working smarter, not harder.

So while Red Bull is charging through the energy drink market like some sort of large, horned mammal in a china shop and destroying all who oppose them, Matador is sidestepping the whole conflict by not trying to compete in your gas station’s refrigerator case, but rather pivoting elegantly over to the cash registers with less prestigious competitors like *Five Hour Energy” and whatever else they have over there next to the vape supplies and low quality phone chargers.

If you can’t beat ‘em, avoid ‘em.

The good news for you is that this means that Matador can avoid spending money on nonsense like X-Games sponsorships and F1 teams, then pass the savings onto you!

Or at least onto us. But passing savings along is kind of our whole thing, so you know we’re good for it.

Anyway, this is an outrageously good deal regardless of how we landed here and you get a fun variety pack so you won’t go crazy slurping down 36 of the same flavor.

Enjoy!

(Does it give you wings? It does not.)