Never Too Many

Here’s a question: is there such a thing as having too many flashlights?

We say: no!

Or, well, how about: not really.

Like, let’s say you bought so many flashlights that you didn’t have a chance to open them as they arrived because there were constantly more and more coming in the mail each day. So you stacked the boxes up in great piles until, one evening, a pile toppled and knocked into another pile, which knocked into another pile, and so on, until all had fallen, leaving you trapped with only one way out: to navigate a dark, narrow passageway through the boxes. And the bitter irony of it all? The contents of any box would light the way, but pulling one out of the haphazard cardboard brickwork could result in a total collapse. So you had to navigate blind!

Anyway, yeah, obviously that’s an example of too many flashlights.

But having a big tub of flashlights and flashlight-adjacent products in the basement? We see no harm in this. And, in fact, we see certain benefits.

Maybe you’ve got your big super bright flashlight, a nice camping/power outage lantern, a good work light, and then a bunch of smaller/simpler iterations of the three so you have something for any situation, serious or not.

Take these, for example.

They’ve got telescoping beams, a safety light, and a magnetic base for hands-free use. In other words, you can use them for any job that requires a bit more brightness than the light on your phone but not as much heft or power as your big night watchman-style flashlight.

Something rolled under the couch? This can help. Dealing with an issue roadside? This can help with that too. Need to check something on the hot water heater? Magnet this thing to a metal surface and go to work. A friend or neighbor needs to borrow a light? Give him one of these and say, “Hey, it’s all yours.” You look generous as hell and it only cost 10 bucks for a two-pack!

Our point is: you should buy these flashlights. And the next time we sell flashlights or lanterns or whatever, you should buy them too. Because you can never have too many flashlights.

And yes, this is an opportunistic stance to take for a company that often sells flashlights, but we think it actually makes sense.