Noises Galore

With 30 soothing options to choose from–including nature sounds, white noise, and nursery songs–it would almost be easier to tell you about what kinds of soundscapes these things DON’T feature!

Which is what we’re going to do.

Here are 10 sounds you WON’T find on LetsFit White Noise Machines:

1. Substitute teacher who is unskilled with chalk writing out their extremely long last name on the board.

2. A series of sounds that might be flatulence or might be someone shifting their weight on a leather chair, leading you to brace yourself for a smell that might never permeate.

3. Beginning trumpeter practicing their instrument at a house for ailing ducks.

4. Famed air horn tuner Ernesto Monteverdi working tirelessly to achieve the perfect blast.

5. It’s not a podcast about bricks; it’s the hosts of a podcast about bricks doing a spinoff podcast where they talk about politics and romance.

6. Person on the bus behind you angrily giving hushed (but not hushed enough) tech support to an elderly relative.

7. They think they can clear their stuffed-up nose with a few quick snorts, but it doesn’t work, and now they’re in too deep to just reach for a tissue.

8. Teens at the mall using a variety of swear words for the first time.

9. A car alarm, underlaid with someone saying, “Turn it off! You’re going to wake everyone up!” and someone else saying, “I’m TRYING to turn it off, Sharon! I’m TRYING!”

10. American person who over-enunciates and unironically uses British-isms like “bloody” and “wanker” telling you about their glorious community theater career.

So, you don’t need to worry about those sounds!

In conclusion, they also have ambient light.