Good Boys

Here’s something that happened to me recently.

I was out for a jog in a public park when I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning, I saw what looked to be a border collie galloping straight at me. No leash, no owner in sight.

Now, this is not the first dog that’s rushed me while I’m out, jogging and minding my own business. And, each time this has happened, my mind goes a little haywire. For a second, I don’t freak out. Instead, an oddly calm and composed voice whispers in my ear: “Hey, you are very likely on the verge of suffering a grievous injury.”

What happens next, in most cases, is that the dog lowers itself in submission, wagging its tail, and I realize it’s just a loose buddy eager to make my acquaintance. Or else we circle each other with me yelling and the dog barking until the owner runs up, leashes the beast, and apologizes profusely, citing a broken collar or a gate left open by accident.

This time, though, no tails wagged and no owner sprinted behind. I did not get bitten, thankfully. Instead, the dog circled me barking and growling for a solid minute as I took a defensive stance and yelled, “Get away! Get away!”

Finally, the owner arrived… IN A CAR. They pulled up slowly with the window down, saying, “Oh, he’s not mean,” or something along those lines, as the dog continued to circle me and growl in ways that I, a person who has interacted with dogs before, understood not to be friendly.

At this point, I called to the owner, “Excuse me, friend, if you wouldn’t mind departing your vehicle and wrangling this fine canine, I’ll be happily on my way!”

Or maybe I shouted, “Get the [BLEEP] out of your [BLEEP]ing car and leash your [BLEEP]ing dog!”

Who’s to say!

At any rate, the owner eventually got out and, not rushing at all, got control of their dog. They seemed incredulous that I’d be angry about this run-in, but did say, “I’m sorry if you were scared.”

What does all this have to do with today’s sale?

It’s simple: even this dog that scared the crap out of me while I was running deserves dog treats. Because there are no shitty dogs, only shitty owners.

So buy some treats for your dog. And don’t be a shitty dog owner.