2-Pack: Hawke & Co. Ember Shield Zip-up Tactical Hoodies
Our Take
- Class A flame retardant
- A whistle zipper, “survival drawcords”, and a drink pocket for your bev
- Perfect for extreme outdoor adventures (but also fine for just bumming around on a cool day)
- Sizing chart
- Can it make a margarita: No, but the drink pocket can hold a canned one
Your Take
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It would probably be convenient to have a Molotov-cocktail-proof hoodie or two. Let me think about it.
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I'll give them some credit. Paracord drawstrings is way more tactical than all the other stuff bearing the name.
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Don't underappreciate the whistle zipper, also.
However, anybody intending to whistle with my zipper had better give me adequate prior notice.
For Intense Stuff Only
As soon as Lance woke up, he could feel it, that chill in the air. Fall had arrived in full force, and its old friend winter wouldn’t be far behind.
He sighed to himself.
The cold made everything harder, even for a total hyper-masculine type-A hard-ass like Lance.
Luckily, he had just the thing to combat this downtick of the thermometer.
He went into his closet and pulled out one of his two Hawke & Co. Ember Shield Zip-up Tactical Hoodies.
Yes, this was it, the perfect semi-warm outer layer for a tough man like himself. It had a whistle zipper, a drink pocket, survival drawcords, and to top it all off, it was class-A flame retardant.
That meant he could feel comfortable and safe no matter what kind of wild, boundary-pushing, manly adventure he got up to.
As it stood, the first thing to do once he’d gotten his tactical hoodie on was tactically mow the lawn, then do a little tactical edging with the weed whacker, and finish off with the tactical deployment of the leaf blower to scatter all the clippings.
He might put a tactical bottle of kombucha in the beverage pocket (his doctor had told him to get more tactical about his gut health) or else maybe he’d tactically stash his phone in there so he could pair up some tactical earbuds and tactically listen to an episode or two of This American Life as he carried out all his tactical tasks.
Once he was done with the lawn, he might do a little tactical cleaning inside the house, have a quick tactical lunch, maybe take a short tactical jog, and then tactically shower up before re-donning his tactical hoodie so he could sit tactically on a lawn chair in his driveway, consume a few tactical beers with his buddy Brad (a very tactical guy like himself), and discuss their very tactical thoughts on Coyote Vs. Acme.
After that, a little tactical dinner before settling tactically onto the couch to tactically watch some Great British Bake-Off, perhaps doing a little tactical knitting as he did so. Or not. He might prefer to give the show his full, tactical attention, allowing him to better articulate his feelings in a few tactical posts on the GBBO Subreddit later.
Lance nodded with satisfaction considering this plan. It was going to be a great, tactical day.
