OK Google, Why Is This On Meh?

Today we’re offering this popular product at a typical Meh cheapskate price, but it isn’t flawed in some fundamental way. Weird, we know.

You see, a gadget like this Google Home usually only appears on Meh for a few reasons:

• The product has flopped
• The product has been outmoded by a newer version
• The product was dropped in a vat of molasses, melted in transit, or was otherwise damaged

So you’re wise to inspect this Google Home through squinty, suspicious eyes. “What’s your game, Meh?” You should be asking. “How are you hoodwinking me today?”

Inexplicably, we’re not. The Google Home hasn’t flopped, it’s not an old version, and the ones we’re selling don’t have some bizarre backstory. We didn’t steal them. We didn’t buy them from somebody who stole them. So we don’t know what to write in this space, where we usually give elaborate explanations for why you should buy the product despite some obvious flaw.

The only explanation for how we got these at such a low price is that our buyers who made it happen … are magical. Seems far-fetched, we know, but as Sherlock Holmes said, "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

Yet this explanation raises a whole suite of other concerns. How far do the magical powers of our buyers extend? Can they control minds? Are we currently under their thrall as we write this product description praising their skills?

We need an impartial observer to tell us what’s real and what’s an illusion weaved by our warlock buyers. If only there were some kind of mechanical, question-answering machine that couldn’t be swayed by their dark arts …

Oh well, tomorrow we’ll get back to the usual outmoded/broken/crappy stuff. Don’t worry.