If (and this is a big if) you had a talking Irk, what should he say?
13Let’s imagine some absurd scenario where you somehow got an Irk stuffy that could play clips from past videos and songs. Let’s imagine he could say a dozen or so things.
What would you have him say?
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“You know what bothers me?”
“Maybe it bothers me more than it should.”
Some MAD APE DEN song lyric that makes zero sense out of context.
@Thumperchick
@Thumperchick @tinamarie1974 Yes, this gets my vote too! 🗳
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@Kyeh @Thumperchick @tinamarie1974
ME THREE!
The “Something went terribly wrong” song.
@flightsimmer Yes. And speed it up slightly so it is less than 30 seconds so we can download it as our telephone ring sound.
@flightsimmer @Kidsandliz
Something goes terrible wrong 50 TIMES A DAY when he misplaces anything and EVERYTHING he touches, or even THINKS ABOUT! Lol 
I’ve got it set as the ringtone for my guy!
@flightsimmer @Lynnerizer I know at one point someone had made it so you could download it as a ringtone but it was a couple of seconds too long to have it all. I no longer remember where that was uploaded or now, of course, if it is even there.
Hmm good trick linking that to your hubby’s brain to go off when he is thinking… Nice that at least it goes off a lot so you know he is still thinking.
A deep sigh
Assuming my IRK has six phrases:
“WEH”
“irksome”
“zippy”
“Remember the difference between someone loving you and loving the ownership of you”
“weedle-eedle-eedle”
“r-r-r-r-ong”
I would want to be able to have it customized to greet me in the manner of the mangling of usernames from the “ask Irk” videos. I suspect that mine would come out as “we re ha track”.
Years ago, I had a Magellan GPS unit that could mangle street names magnificently. It turned tanglebriar into tan gleb ryar on one particularly memorable occasion.
@werehatrack My GPS used to turn the abbreviation Dr for Drive into doctor, so it will say things like Expressway Doctor.
@heartny Here in Texas, some of them would mistranslate our FM roads as “Federated States of Micronesia”.
@heartny @werehatrack The local bus routes have AI announcers that read the upcoming stop that way: “Next. Stop. One. Hundred. And. Twelfth. Express. Way. Der.”
“You clumsy POOP!!! What’d you do THAT for??!!”
from “Throw Momma From The Train”.
Sure, IRK never said it (yet) but Momma really IRKED Owen!!
Irk could be like an Easy button, but instead of saying, “That was easy” when you press him, he says, “You were wrong”. It could be very handy to have in some relationships
@heartny
OMG THAT’S PERFECT! AND HILARIOUS!
Uh…Meh!
Anyone have Candy Corn?
The first few seconds of his videos. “You know what bothers me?” -song intro-
There should be an Irk in every IRK and he should say “Sucker!”
I want to hear him say my name the inimitable (though now I and others do attempt it) way he says it (“jo-EL-mwah”), and really, I’d like the ability to choose among quality recordings (i.e., original source and not my having to fiddle and fuck with the shit to do it myself, but I might accept that as a third option) from Irk’s entire catalog of video recitations.
And if you can’t go to that trouble for everyone, I suggest at least making it available to:
Why, yes, I do. A fine coincidence, wouldn’t you say? Bespeaks brand loyalty and fidelity to the low standards and core constituency of this joint.
Short of that, it seems fairly obvious, @dave, that @Thumperchick and @flightsimmer effectively said what all of us were thinking (and kudos to them for standing up, so to speak, and getting it done): We want to hear Irk say and/or sing what Irk says and sings. He has the Irk catchphrases and video intros and such. We obviously want that. And “joelmwah”; we need “joelmwah”.
Please do get on it. Thanks, by the way, for finally getting y’all’s shit together on the plushies themselves. Much appreciated.
@joelmw And you forgot… those with free irk tattoos…
I’m sure mine would taunt me for either not refreshing the page fast enough to see the new deal, or for not checking in on that one day and ruining my +150 day streak.
“Remember to refrigerate your batteries…!”
-Talking IRK Stuffie
“Cheer up, Sucker!” and of course, “Meh.”
/giphy I’d buy that for a dollar
He should say “fuck, fuck fuck.” To keep the fuck count up.
And “buy more meh”