Today's SideDeal

60-Pack: The Gluten Free Brothers Protein Energy Balls

  • Deliciously snackable, protein-packed food balls in a handful of flavor combos
  • Choose six 10-ball bags of dark chocolate almond, or thirty 2-ball packs in a variety of flavors
  • No edges, no angles
  • Gluten-free, corner-free, slight rollaway hazard
  • Can it make a margarita? It can make a margarita crunchier.
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Earth is a Ball.

Next time you’re at the grocery store, have a look around. Note the shapes of the things you see.

In the produce section, tons of roundness. Watermelons and oranges and grapes. Even a bunch of the things that aren’t round are still at least round-ish—think green peppers and apples and kiwis and pears. It’s the natural order of things.

Now compare that to every other damn thing in the store. The crackers and the candy bars and the the 12-packs of Coke. What do they all have in common?

They’re NOT ROUND.

They’re a bunch of wildly narcissistic affronts to nature itself. Tiny individually packaged monuments to man’s hubris, defying the universal order of things that has driven the satisfying roundness of everything from butt checks to planets since the dawn of, um…butt cheeks and planets.

Every time you shove an unnaturally rectangular toaster pastry down your gullet or pour liquid from some sharp-cornered carton, you’re basically thrusting an antagonistic middle finger towards the universal coherence of the very nature of being.

It’s a simultaneous insult to both science and spirituality. That breakfast bar your had the other day is the epistemological equivalent of taking a dump on the front porch of the pantheon of the gods while standing on Darwin’s neck, is what we’re saying.

So, you know…maybe buy some round food from us instead.

These protein-packed energy balls are (helpfully) packed with protein and (mercifully) full of energy, but also (critically) wonderfully round, as the universe intended such things to be.

Not only are they round, but they’re also gluten-free, really satisfying, and come in a handful of flavors.

A whole new way of snacking has finally taken shape.

So far today...

  • 8677 of you visited.
  • 53% on a phone, 2% on a tablet.
  • 828 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

How’d you get here?

And you bought...

  • 63 of these.
  • There’s still some left.
  • That’s $1412 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?