If something kissed my ankle, I might punt it through the wall. That’s a creepy choice. I went with snacks. Give me floor scraping snacks over creepy ankle kisses everytime!
@awk well, ankle kisses struck me as more disturbing. I just assumed the finger would be flipping the dog off as it disturbed his nap and chased the cat around the floor.
Quite frankly, I’d be willing to pay at least an extra $300 for realistic cat behavior (i.e. keeps bumping into the door to be let out, not leaving when you finally open the door, et cetera). Bonus points if it also looks like a kitty-cat.
If that’s not yet feasible from an engineering standpoint, I’ll settle for it not watching me masturbate.
@ShotgunX Its a vacuum cleaner. Its not supposed to leave hairballs and spray around the house; cat-ike behavior might be counted as malfunction rather than feature…
I want a Roomba with enough solar cells so that it could sun itself outside during the day, and then at night, come inside and power itself to clean my house, and also power my whole house.
After vacuuming, I would like it to dust, do the laundry, make dinner and wash the dishes. Is that too much to ask? And maybe take out the garbage too.
@ShotgunX how did you get one so cheap? Mine takes all my money, decides what I own, and takes over every room. And if I don’t recognize its “hard work”, it stops
I want it to pick up all the stuff we leave laying around - shoes/socks, books, cat toys, etc - and put them away… It’s the main reason we don’t have one.
(ugh, I keep giving serious answers to these. I’m sorry. IRL I answer everything with sarcasm and puns. Thanks for letting me be different here meh’ers!) Separates plastic, compostable, and glass (Yikes! Yeah, aren’t you glad you got a Roomba?)
Wash, dry, and fold laundry. Not asking for much, really. You just toss your clothes on the floor at night and then you collect them from a neat pile next to the docking station after the roomba finishes its cycle or whatever.
Also maybe it could sort, count, and roll any change it comes across.
Roombas freak me out. I already anticipate the question of why (reasonable question)… there’s something about them plugging themselves back in when their batteries are low that just really, really unsettles me.
If something kissed my ankle, I might punt it through the wall. That’s a creepy choice. I went with snacks. Give me floor scraping snacks over creepy ankle kisses everytime!
@tnhillbillygal Prude.
@tnhillbillygal You’d be fine with including a fully functional human finger though?
@awk @tnhillbillygal One that… tickles your ankle??
Perv!
@awk well, ankle kisses struck me as more disturbing. I just assumed the finger would be flipping the dog off as it disturbed his nap and chased the cat around the floor.
@shahnm @tnhillbillygal You know, now that I think about it, if it kissed your ankles it would need fully functional lips. (Not necessarily human.)
Wait patiently for the cat to climb aboard and take GoPro type video of said cat riding around.
Makes decent waffles.
Dual purpose floor cleaner and home invasion defense system; that way it can earn its keep on Battlebots too.
Quite frankly, I’d be willing to pay at least an extra $300 for realistic cat behavior (i.e. keeps bumping into the door to be let out, not leaving when you finally open the door, et cetera). Bonus points if it also looks like a kitty-cat.
If that’s not yet feasible from an engineering standpoint, I’ll settle for it not watching me masturbate.
@ShotgunX never LOLed harder
@ShotgunX Its a vacuum cleaner. Its not supposed to leave hairballs and spray around the house; cat-ike behavior might be counted as malfunction rather than feature…
The apologies should be in a befuddled British accent, preferably voiced by Hugh Grant.
@rprebel I would also accept Renee Zellweger or John Cleese.
@rprebel @zinimusprime
Better yet, Pompidou.
/youtube Netflix Pompidou trailer
@jst1ofknd @rprebel A thousand times yes.
Gently chills batteries for maximum freshness.
I want a Roomba with enough solar cells so that it could sun itself outside during the day, and then at night, come inside and power itself to clean my house, and also power my whole house.
Maybe on Meh next year… ?
Tell me what part of the floor it missed in its random bumping dance.
The European model, which has two fingers.
How high was the writer-upper tonight?
After vacuuming, I would like it to dust, do the laundry, make dinner and wash the dishes. Is that too much to ask? And maybe take out the garbage too.
@heartny That’s the higher-end model, which costs about half of everything you will make in your lifetime.
@ShotgunX how did you get one so cheap? Mine takes all my money, decides what I own, and takes over every room. And if I don’t recognize its “hard work”, it stops
Do my taxes.
The feature I would like most is if it didn’t spread shit or vomit all over the floor and everywhere if the dog, cat, or kid had an accident.
@Corinalynn86 My solution to that is to not have a dog, cat or kid.
Answers all robocalls and strings them along like some kind of weird but ethereal Bob & Tom skit.
I want it to pick up all the stuff we leave laying around - shoes/socks, books, cat toys, etc - and put them away… It’s the main reason we don’t have one.
(ugh, I keep giving serious answers to these. I’m sorry. IRL I answer everything with sarcasm and puns. Thanks for letting me be different here meh’ers!) Separates plastic, compostable, and glass (Yikes! Yeah, aren’t you glad you got a Roomba?)
Actually, I would like it to alternately belch or flatulate every time it picks up something substantial.
Wash, dry, and fold laundry. Not asking for much, really. You just toss your clothes on the floor at night and then you collect them from a neat pile next to the docking station after the roomba finishes its cycle or whatever.
Also maybe it could sort, count, and roll any change it comes across.
Play music
I want it to do things like “hey, get outta my way!” in a cabbie from New York City or other colorful accents. That would be fun.
Alternatively I want it to recite my favorite movie quotes when it hits a wall or something like “I don’t want a large Farva I want a liter of cola!”
Roombas freak me out. I already anticipate the question of why (reasonable question)… there’s something about them plugging themselves back in when their batteries are low that just really, really unsettles me.
@LemonTheCat Yeah, but why…?
@zinimusprime I honestly don’t know… maybe I have a subconscious fear of a Roomba uprising? Robotic things frighten me in general.
@LemonTheCat I can see that. At least it would be a silly robot uprising if it was all done by a bunch of pancake vacuums.
Basically, serve drinks and such like R2D2 in ROTJ. And/or be R2D2.
I’d like to hear it apologize in Anthony Daniels’ voice.