Visual Voicemail
25I love voice transcription.
My mother left me a voicemail from the front of a store where we were shopping today, this is what google fi thinks she said:
Hi, I’m up in front at checkout by. If she’s dead dead wage. Thank God I didn’t hear it or feel it off. Dead dead dead dead dead. wage
I haven’t listened to the message to find out what she actually said. She’s pretty sure she didn’t say “Dead dead dead dead dead. wage.”
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Let’s hope self driving cars work better than this.
@Kidsandliz I mean, had I not already known that she was most likely at the front of the store, it would have gotten me there. Probably in a hurry, with all the “dead dead dead dead dead.” But yes, that’s setting the bar too low.
@mossygreen Actually I have seen it too on my phone. Lots of missing words in the few voice mails I have gotten. But it was useful to find out the phone number I was supposed to call (not the one calling me) without having to listen to the message.
@Kidsandliz Of course they will. If self driving cars worked like this there would be no noticeable improvement and would therefore be considered a failure.
Text to voice transcription errors are entirely and completely responsible for every stupid thing I’ve ever said in print
/giphy I swear
@f00l Understood. Entirely plausible.
@f00l @mossygreen
/giphy illogical
@Cerridwyn @mossygreen
I need that excuse.
Please let it alone. Just this once.
/giphy Spock
@Cerridwyn @f00l @mossygreen
use some 3d glasses looking at this picture… trippy.
I rarely listen to voicemails anymore. Transcription is awesome… Even though it’s not always perfect.
I also get call screening. I set my phone to do it automatically on what it thinks could be spam calls. I rarely get a phone call that goes through anymore that isn’t someone I know.
VAN MURALS! GROUND SQUIRRELS! SPIT CURLS! AWESOME!
@RiotDemon I genuinely do love voice transcription! And sometimes it’s really funny too! I’ve never used the call screening, but I don’t get a lot of calls to begin with.
@mossygreen I was starting to get a ridiculous amount. I don’t get many calls so it was starting to bum me out. At first I was manually call screening. It’s a cool feature but 99% of the people would hang up before Google finished it’s message. Since I turned on automatic, I might of had two spammers get through in a month versus several a day.
@RiotDemon I guess I need to turn on automatic screening. The live transcription is fun, though. My favorite was an actual person I did not know that just said “Jesus this is ridiculous” and hung up.
The call screening has cut down on the number of times that I’ve answered the phone only to say “get the fuck off my phone” and hang up only to find that there’s someone in earshot giving me dirty looks.
@djslack it has helped save my sanity. I’m not sure what happened, but I started getting tons of spam from my old area code, especially spam from numbers that have the same first 6 digits as my own number. Those were easy to look at and know they were spam right away.
@djslack @RiotDemon its a spammer trick too spoof numbers from your own area code to get you to pick up. Or get older people to pick up. I have moved from that area so I just blocked the entire area code. If I don’t know you I don’t answer.
Supposedly the FCC is starting to do something but it will probably take a few years.
@djslack @RiotDemon @unksol Have you gotten calls from your own number yet? I got one while I was at home; pretty surreal.
@Kyeh
/giphy the call is coming from inside the house
@djslack @Kyeh @RiotDemon I’m not sure. Def from the same area code and first three digit but shortly after that started I blocked everything. Phone numbers don’t belong to the house like the 80s. My area code on my cell was from college. So I just nuked the whole area. People I want to talk to I know. Or more likely we text. Send pics. Bullshit like wtf is this deer doing
@djslack @RiotDemon @unksol Wow, that’s cool!
@djslack @Kyeh @RiotDemon @unksol aawwwww such a cute baby!
@djslack @Kyeh @RiotDemon @tinamarie1974 lol careful on the awws. May have also been a conversation about if it was ballsy or stupid to approach a car. And if momma would have taught it more common sense by hunting season. When she might be fair game.
They do learn to cross a road if they live long enough
@djslack @Kyeh @RiotDemon @unksol I will just think about how cute it is and just don’t tell me if you do
@tinamarie1974 I love seeing her and mom when im making coffee ever other couple days. She is cute and incredibly fast when she runs off. Not sure she’s very smart lol
@RiotDemon
Man I wish I could use the spammer thing I get so many bullshit calls it’s annoying. My dads blind and so I take and make all of his dr calls (for drs) and appt (yes their already in my phone) but there’s other times when people call my dad and he tells them to call me also and they would just hang up on that. My brother has it and I took a months break and it was a problem with his phone.
@djslack @Kyeh @RiotDemon @unksol
ROFLMAO!!
I have. Freaky.
Another time my number called hubs and i was on my phone talking to sis and he was sitting right next to me. Hubs had fun with that one. Played it off like he expected it to be me and after a couple of “quit playing” and “I know it’s you, your face is looking at me” he dove into a semi explicit very precise adult conversation. They hung up before he broke character and started laughing. No happy endings grin
The housekeeper left a voicemail after she had cleaned. Google Voice transcribed it as:
She had left her duster and some rugs and was wondering if my wife could drop them at her house on the way if she came into town to visit her mom.
No visits from either the DEA or CPS, so far…
@macromeh
what about INS?
With my family’s French accents, I can only imagine some of the Franglish I might get…
@chienfou Nah, she’s married to an American, is a naturalized citizen and has a legitimate business license and pays taxes. A real sweetheart, too!
@macromeh why did she bring rugs to your house?
@chellemonkey @macromeh to cover up the drugs I assume.
Also probably rugs = rags
@chellemonkey @unksol Yeah, typo on my part. It was rags.
That’s awful. I’m sure she meant “Dead dead dead dead dead. Rage.” While headbanging to the stores pleasant heavy metal
@unksol The only song I can think of with any similar lyrics is Foetus’ Lust For Death.
/youtube foetus lust for death
@mossygreen I know nothing about heavy metal. There was just a lot of death there and rage seemed more metal than wage.
@unksol Neither do I, but this is possibly the first time knowing a song with the lyric “I’m the dead dead dead dead daddio” has come up organically in conversation. For me, anyway.
@unksol are you sure the store was playing heavy metal not folk pop.
Caravan of Thieves (best folk-pop band of all time btw) has one song:
“I was dead, I was dead, dead dead wrong about you”.
She could have been singing a folk song.
@OnionSoup asking what I meant a year after I might have known what I might have meant is… Well let’s say my memory isn’t that good at best lol. But I might have to check out the Thieves
I got one from my wife that got my heart racing.
garble mumble stuff HOSPITAL garble garble
Of course she didn’t say anything remotely resembling “hospital”. Her English accent seems to give the bot more trouble than most.
@blaineg I think I’ve mentioned on here before that my English accent makes Alexa think I’m saying her name if I say “My legs ache”.
If you have an echo, you should ask your wife to say “My legs ache” (helps if slurred into single word) near the echo and see if it wakes her. (Wakes Alexa, not your wife)
“This is an important message as some executives have a penis on your boil water. Notice all $REDACTED_CITY water customers must boil water for two minutes before using it for eating or drinking Water must come to a rolling boil for two minutes then allowed to cool until it is ready to use this boil water requirement remains in effect until further notice. I’d be so fun and weed out those classes and departmental they are whether they’ll see Devin It we’d allow what portals minutes to complete those and physical side left Barack Obama, Obama A lot what Debbie and we see what else I’m in the portables me. Notice 11 it has been prepped and physical. So if our then became effective as someone will be so…”
The parts then went all psychotic are actually the speech-to-text engine failing to realize it was hearing Spanish. Fun stuff, either way.
I recently got a voicemail transcription that said “off dead dead dead. wage” and it was based on audio that sounded like someone dragging things. At the end of the near 3 minute audio clip I heard “Much better”. During the clip I could hear a woman and man conversing but it was not entirely understandable. Just wanted to share!
/image hell jars Howard yo-yo
