things I randomly wonder about...
31there’s semi trucks, but I wanna see a whole one.
like if there was a store called “semi foods” and you go in and they’re selling like half a banana or half a condom. I’d much rather got to whole foods and get the entire condom.
or an adult store called “semi erect” and they sell the “dil” but not the “do”.
what do you randomly wonder about?
obligatory fuck.
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I wonder why when I do something nice or honest, it is greeted with shock… happened twice today… do I look that evil?
@mikibell you sent the boy 2 lbs of dumdums. so, yes, you are that evil.
@carl669 hmmmmmmm you should whisper your new address… he has probably outgrown his touch a truck shirt by now!
@mikibell it’s weird. i think he’s actually outgrown dumdums or something. every time we go to our favorite breakfast place, he grabs one from the basket on the way out. but, he only eats it maybe 20% of the time.
omg! i have to find a touch a truck event this summer. the shirt is still big on him though. he’s at the lanky stage where if i find pants that are long enough, they’re too wide and fall off. so, he’s been sentenced to flood pants for now.
I wonder if people with terminal illnesses should be permitted to hitch rides on deep space probes and transmit their observations back to Earth until they died. I also wonder if I would want to do that if I had a terminal illness.
@eonfifty I had a really wonderful dream once that I was on a spaceship on the way to the center of the universe. Very cool dream.
@Kidsandliz
I had a dream I was on a spaceship that crashed in to the end of the universe. It wasn’t that bad.
/giphy not that bad
When I was a kid, I used to stand out in my street in front of my house and think about all the far-off other places my street connected with. I wonder if other kids ever thought about that.
@therealjrn that is kinda deep
@therealjrn When I was a kid, I’d think of something a little bit absurd, then wonder how many people in the world were thinking the exact same thought at that moment. Then I’d think of something even more absurd and wonder how many were thinking that thought. I’d keep thinking more and more absurd things until I was sure I was the only person in the world thinking that exact thought.
Once the internet was invented, I realized an awful lot of people were having awfully absurd thoughts. So maybe a lot of those times, I wasn’t the only one.
What am I gonna cook for supper? Do I need to do a load of laundry? Do I need to weed again? What bills are due to be paid? Who’s birthday is coming up? When am I gonna go visit one of my kids? Do I need to set an alarm early for anything? Did I feed the cat? Did I leave the cat in the garage? Did I lock the door? Is it time to get the oil changed? Do I want a cup of coffee? Do I have any appts today? How many stairs DO I have? What are insulated stairs?..
Just in case there’s anyone who doesn’t know – “semi truck” usually refers to a truck/tractor and semi trailer combination. It’s a semi trailer rather than a full trailer because it doesn’t have any front wheels – it can’t roll on its own.
@walarney way to rain on my random thought parade.
@walarney Since we’re randomly wondering…
Why is semi (in the context of trucks) usually pronounced sem eye rather than sem ee (like in semiconscious)?
I mostly just randomly wander about …
while thinking:
Why do we have “pairs” of pants? Why not just “pants”, because what would you do with a single pant?
Why do symphonies perform overtures, but not undertures, or tures?
Why doesn’t superglue stick to the inside of its bottle? And if you developed a supersolvent, what would you store it in?
If the prefix “twi” means twice or double, shouldn’t “twilight” be twice as bright as daylight?
Do you have to pay tribute three times?
@rockblossom and pair of tweezers, pair of scissors, pair of eye glasses…there must be more.
@therealjrn A pair of handcuffs. Wouldn’t a single handcuff be a bit pointless?
@rockblossom hmm…I bet @tinamarie1974 would know.
@rockblossom @therealjrn I am pleading the 5th on my knowledge and/or skill w handcuffs OR how many pairs I may or may not own
@therealjrn @tinamarie1974 We can ask her more when she becomes GoaT. I am hoping for discussions and tutorials in rope tying and the such (it’s an art)!
@rockblossom @therealjrn wouldn’t that just be called a bracelet?
@rockblossom @therealjrn I’m pretty sure the “pair” stuff is answered.
Pants used to be two separate pieces you put on one at a time.
A pair of glasses is a pair because there are two lenses. Monocles used to be much more common than they are now.
You can absolutely have a single handcuff attached to something other than a second cuff…
@mfladd @therealjrn a tutorial for.you? But why, I thought you taught me!
/giphy wholesome girl
@rockblossom funny you should ask. I actually cut three pairs of jeans in half today for a painting class where each of six students used one leg as a paint brush cleaner. Felt very surreal.
@rockblossom
/youtube underture
@rockblossom And, since you asked specifically, here’s a symphony orchestra performing it (but I prefer the band version):
Condoms are food?
And how are they halved? If you do it one way, some people may never know the difference.
@djslack that also depends on which half (end or back) that you get.
@chienfou @djslack Can they be halved the “long” way (depending on size?)
you all did not disappoint in your random thoughts. bravo you fuckers. take a bow.
like… a bow. not the kind you shoot arrows with. the other kind. where you start to fold yourself in half at the waist.
who ever thought that’d be a good gesture anyway. i imagine some king/pharaoh/emperor was larking about and a peasant bent over to pick up a morsel of food. the highfalutin king/pharaoh/emperor figured it was a good gesture of submission.
and if that’s the case, why would someone take bow if they’ve had a good performance? they’re not showing submission to the audience, are they? if anything, the audience should bow to the performer. because they’re the ones that just forked over cash money dolla dolla bills to see them perform.
anywho… what was i talking about? oh right.
fuck.
@carl669 Take a bow.
@blaineg oy! point that somewhere else!
@carl669 why do men bow but women curtsy?
@lilsrm123 in the olden days, bowing would cause a woman to expose her ankles. this was very taboo.
If Staples sells staples, what does Dick’s sell?
@heartny
@heartny I think I shared this story here before. I used to work for an e-commerce company that specialized in sporting goods when it first began. We would often go to other company’s websites to compare items and prices. Out of the blue one day, one of our reps suddenly screamed out, “Oh my God, whatever you do, don’t go to dicks dot com!” Needless to say, this was before Dick’s Sporting Goods bought that domain name so it redirects properly.
@cinoclav By any chance did you work for GSI Commerce?
@heartny Unfortunately, yes. Have a connection?
@cinoclav Yep. Worked for GSI as a consequence of the eBay debacle, but have since been spun off.
@heartny The only good thing I got out of that place was some friends. It pains me to see Michael Rubin as a partial owner of the Sixers (and Devils).
@cinoclav The only thing I got out of it was paychecks and benefits. Ebay sure didn’t do their due diligence with the GSI acquisition.
@heartny I guess the other thing I got out of it was the kick in the ass to go back to school for my current career when they closed our department. I had been sent to Florida to train the people who took our jobs. You’re absolutely right, eBay screwed that one up big time.
The classic. “Thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. How do it know?”
Why are they called apartments if they are stuck together?
@allergycheryl And why do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
@therealjrn I park in the garage.
@allergycheryl @therealjrn I garage in the park.
Who ever considered olives food? They were terrible tasting as a kid and still are as an adult.
Blech
@AZnatural1
olives
@AZnatural1 @tinamarie1974 They’re not food, they’re toys. One goes on each finger.
@AZnatural1 @blaineg like Bugles!!!
/giphy random
/giphy thoughts
If the store is semi erect does it mean it is just not quite exciting enough?
Is a half of a pear a whole or a hole?
Fuck.
The year was 1947. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, 73 years ago, witnesses claim that an Unidentified Flying Object, (UFO), with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered-up by the U.S. Air Force, as well as other Federal Agencies and Organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that, during the month of April 1948, nine months after the historic day, the following people were born:
Donald Trump
Mitch McConnell
Mike Pence
Paul Manafort
This is the obvious consequence of aliens breeding with sheep and jackasses.
I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It certainly did for me.
@Felton10
I also wonder what the chart of new topics of Meh created by day looks like!
Nothing.
I wonder what the mean cost per calorie of food is.
I’m guessing around $0.00735 / calorie.
/giphy 7 3 5
Do people know when they press ‘reply all’ they are replying to all?
@elimanningface based on roughly 8,845 email chains at work that circle the globe several times, I’m guessing not.
If salad spinners are used to dry salads, why aren’t fidget spinners used to dry fidgets?
/giphy “salad spinner”
Why did Pokemon Go do this to me today?
Well, since this thread has arisen from death …
Why are perfectly good/useful words allowed to languish? I am particularly fond of “nibling” - as in “I got a call from one of my niblings who was in a pother.”
What did we do before browser tabs?
I almost always have a song playing in my mind. I sometimes randomly wonder if I’m the only one.
@llangley You’re not!!! I do too, and I just try to keep from having an obnoxious one stuck in there. Some of the worst are stupid advertising jingles. If I can’t hit the mute button when the ad comes on I have to stick my fingers in my ears and go “la-la-la-la”
@llangley You’re not alone! I almost always wake up with a song in my head. Sometimes that song stays in my head all day; but, more often, the song changes several times throughout the day