The @starlamae Introduction Thread

mfladd posted a pic said Wed, Jul 10th 2019 at 9:17pm ET

In one of @cardiganb’s thread, a little known (by us) mediocre employee was mentioned: @starlamae. I have tried to coax them to come forward in that thread, but I was only able to get a three word reply. No, it wasn’t “leave me alone”.
So I thought he/she deserved their own introduction thread so we can haras…I mean welcome them!
I want to know what other responsibilities he/she may have at meh. Are they responsible for making sure Glen (hate him) is groomed? Do they have to use a clothing shaver to remove all the little sock dingleberries that he gets? Are they responsible for making sure that no one feeds IRK after midnight? Do they have the artistic talents that seems a requirement of all the new employees now? Inquiring minds want to know.
So maybe we can coax @starlamae out with a warm meh forum welcome!
If he/she wants nothing to do with this thread it is @cinoclav’s fault!

19 comments, 28 replies
Comment

therealjrn said Wed, Jul 10th 2019 at 9:20pm ET:

Hi @Starlamae! Welcome!

Have you ever been arrested?

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- @therealjrn Hi there! Several times but all of those cases were dropped…except Utah.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:39am ET
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Nate311 said Wed, Jul 10th 2019 at 10:49pm ET:

@starlamae what’s your favorite dad joke?
Mine goes like this: Three guys were walking down the street. Two of them walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

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- @Nate311 Personal favorites include such classics as " What do you call fake spaghetti? An Im-Pasta." and “What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!”
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:42am ET
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medz said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 8:20am ET:

Stay in the shadows as long as you can.

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- @medz I tried…they drew me out with the promise of Xxtra Flaming Hot Cheetos and jewels. I see neither.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:54am ET
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carl669 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 9:19am ET:

from what i understand, which is nothing, @starlamae will travel the country displaying the official (to me) meh hand gesture. if s/he gets a response, that person will win an all expenses paid vacation to Bangs, TX (https://cityofbangs.org/) in May of 2019 to attend the fabulous Mayfest. accommodations will be provided in the form of a tent or a large cardboard box (at meh’s discretion). the winner will also receive a travel voucher for 2 people in the form of 2 pairs of flip flop sandals from walmart.

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- @carl669 I hope the travel voucher covers time as well…
  
  amehzinggrace said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:13am ET
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- @amehzinggrace fuck. my beautifully laid out response all for naught because i don’t know what year it is.
  
  carl669 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:29am ET
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- @carl669 As soon as I figure out the signal, we’re in business!
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:56am ET
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- @starlamae
  
  imgur.com/47vRaAR
  
  carl669 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:10pm ET
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- @carl669 @starlamae a fist with the wiggling fingers of the other hand under it. Like an octopus
  
  CaptAmehrican said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:13pm ET
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- @carl669 @starlamae Does it matter which hand is which? I’m left-handed and my first instinct is the opposite of your image. Does it mean something else then? Something… bad?
  
  mossygreen said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 1:28pm ET
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- @mossygreen i’m not gonna say it’s bad, but if you do it opposite and a donkey, a hooker, and half a kilo of coke show up at your door, don’t blame me.
  
  carl669 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 1:41pm ET
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- @carl669 If it happened to me that way, I’d send you a thank you gift.
  
  Pavlov said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 2:03pm ET
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- @carl669 @Pavlov That’s all it takes? Greetings friends!
  
  cinoclav said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 2:45pm ET
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evilstan60 said Wed, Jul 10th 2019 at 11:11pm ET:

Maybe she doesn’t have posting authorization yet. Or maybe she’s a spy for the toothbrush industry. So much mystery.

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- @evilstan60 Mystery is my middle name… okay fine, it’s Mae but don’t tell anyone.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:43am ET
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curtise said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:09am ET:

Hello Star Lama E.! So nice to meet you!
I am Canadian and I happen to love purple . I also sing and do computer stuff .
Please tell us more about you!

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- @curtise I am Texan(obviously…so proud), I love purple, gold and black. I’m fluent in French for toddlers and I am a dancer to my core! Also…you win for creative username pronunciation!
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:48am ET
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- @curtise @starlamae That is the way Irk would pronounce your name (and Canadians).
  
  I’ll try not to hold the Texan thing against you, since you do like purple.
  
  Barney said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:53am ET
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speediedelivery said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 6:14am ET:

Cats?

Were you warned about us during your interview or orientation?

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- @speediedelivery I’m a dog lover but cats are cool…occasionally. I was warned but not prepared lol.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:53am ET
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cinoclav said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 1:57pm ET:

@starlamae Hi and welcome from this months goat! Sorry about the mess in the office, I get hangry.

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cengland0 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 8:11am ET:

I just noticed something. This employee started 39 days ago and is a VMP.

It appears employees are still allowed to enter the VMP program but it’s closed off to regular customers. Either that or all employees are automatically VMP without having to pay as a company perk.

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- @cengland0 I’d guess the second one.
  
  evilstan60 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 8:17am ET
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- @cengland0 @evilstan60 Yeah, it’s a company perk.
  
  I can just see the closing sign-off at staff meetings with @snapster saying, “And remember, people, I GAVE you that VMP and I can also take it away.”
  
  Barney said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 8:31am ET
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- @Barney @cengland0 @snapster I’m not sure it means as much to them as it does to us. Their shipping address is 2nd floor cubicle cluster X. Or, I’ll pick it up from the warehouse when i get a chance.
  
  evilstan60 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 9:41am ET
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- @evilstan60 It’s not just about free shipping. It’s the 10% discount on Morningsave, the VMP only time on Mehrathons (we can buy IRKs, they cannot), the extra holdover quantities for 4pm VMPers, and the ability to purchase the previous day’s product for a couple extra hours.
  
  cengland0 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 9:57am ET
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cengland0 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:03am ET:

Very new employee according to the profile.

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- @cengland0 That one reply was the three words I got on the other thread
  
  mfladd said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:23am ET
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CaptAmehrican said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 3:29am ET:

Welcome @starlamae
Coffee or tea?
Favorite ice cream?
Favorite breakfast?

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- @CaptAmehrican
  Glenn or irk?
  Favorite color?
  
  CaptAmehrican said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 5:42am ET
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- @CaptAmehrican Frappe’(yeah I know it BARELY counts as coffee.) Rocky Road, Cookies and Cream or Mint Chocolate Chip. Glenn because Puppets! My breakfast choices are expansive… I’ll save it for another post.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:52am ET
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daveinwarsh said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:21am ET:

Hi.

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- @daveinwarsh Howdy.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:48am ET
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cengland0 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:47am ET:

When s/he gets in the office tomorrow, his/her inbox will explode. Might be regretting taking that job offer now.

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- @cengland0 not at all! This was a fun way to begin my day!
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:49am ET
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mrchristian said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 1:12am ET:

Howdy Sara Metal. Welcome to zombo com

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- @hanzov69 I finally have a stage name…I am grateful.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:49am ET
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tinamarie1974 said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:55am ET:

@starlamae Welcome, hope you enjoy it here. We are an ODD bunch lol

Do you have any pets? If yes, pictures please! And do your pets sleep with you. I know, odd, but trust me people want to know.

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- @tinamarie1974 Thank you! Happy to be around. No pets unfortunately… but if they existed, we can couch cuddle. I sleep terribly and they may get launched off the bed!
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 11:58am ET
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pitamuffin said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:25pm ET:

Hi @starlamae, I’m poking my head out from my hiding spot to welcome you. You’ve landed in a cool spot, hope you like it here.

As for a question, did you ever go to AstroWorld or the AstroDome?

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- @pitamuffin I’ve experienced both via the Selena movie and Travis Scott’s album( plus OG Six Flags is just superior…when the rides actually work)… Lovely places.
  
  starlamae said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 12:31pm ET
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speediedelivery said Thu, Jul 11th 2019 at 5:57pm ET:

Did you know about the website before applying for the job?

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CaptAmehrican said Fri, Jul 12th 2019 at 5:47am ET:

/giphy star lamae

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CaptAmehrican said Fri, Jul 12th 2019 at 5:45am ET:

/define starlamae

Something went terribly wrong.

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