I always have a hard time with words when someone loses someone very special (how can anyone come close to how special as a parent) because it’s hard to put what you mean into words that will convey the feelings I wish to send and to help console.
What I’m trying to say is I’m here for you and good that she’s not in pain. Let me help you however I can.
@Barney, you’ve come to the right place. You’re among people who love you, and who have been with you (as much as is possible for a bunch of online, vaporous beings to be), and will continue to be here.
These Iris are descended from ones in my late mother’s garden, and were some of her favorites.
So sorry for your loss, @Barney. May she be at peace, and hopefully in time your pain will subside. I’m not really one who knows where to find the words for these sorts of things, but know that my thoughts are with you. Be well.
True condolences. I understand how you must feel because its still all too recent and unreal for me as well. Thank you for sharing, and also thank you for your caring and concern when others (like me) went through the same.
Bunch of professional Hallmark card writers up in this thread…
Nothing I can say will help, but remember the good times and know that she would want you to be happy. Nothing can ever prepare someone for this kind of loss, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Only time can heal this kind of hurt.
@Barney I am so sorry for your loss. There is absolutely nothing anyone can say to make you feel better right now, but you should be so proud of yourself that you did everything you could to make her feel comfortable and loved over the last few years. I think back on the thread regarding the plush dog and just remember how you wanted to get it just right, because after all, she deserved it.
I hate that you have joined this difficult and painful club, those of us who have lost their mommies. It sucks. Just get through one moment at a time, that is all you can do. Eventually it becomes easier, if still painful. Do what you need to do for yourself and never let anyone tell you what you should be feeling or how you should grieve. My heart breaks for you.
@Barney, As I sit here and read your post which is so poignant in its simplicity and all the expressions of love and sympathy from our community, I’m not sure what I can say to you except thank you for sharing some of your mother with us. We all got to know her a bit and care for her from stories that you told. The one that’s already been mentioned and always comes to mind is about the stuffed dog you looked so hard for, and found, for her. I think your search for the perfect "replacement "(not that anything could replace her real pet), resonated with so many of us because the love you have for your mother shone through. Your need to bring her comfort was there for everyone to see. Nothing I can say can ease your grief, I wish I could, I would do or say whatever it was in an instant but maybe it might give you some comfort to know that you did everything you could for your mom and you exuded a love for her that even people online could feel it so you know she felt it. If there is anything I can do, send flowers, if she had an in lieu of request, if you would like me to plant a tree in her honor, or send one to you so you can plant it in a special place, please just let me know. If not, please accept my heartfelt condolences and prayers for you and your family.
My condolences feels almost tacky to even post because it’s so cliche but others have expressed far more poignantly than I ever could the same thoughts I would like to be able to express. I am absolute rubbish with regards to knowing what to say when expressing my feelings to someone who has recently suffered a significant loss, I always seem to end up falling back on cliche expressions due to my inability to assemble my thoughts into words on the topic.
Suffice it to say that you have my sympathy and I am thinking of you and your mother tonight. What I have learned of you over the time we’ve been on this forum together tells me that you are a strong person, I feel confident that you will come to terms with her loss given time. I know from my own experiences that you will never get over missing her but I hope that soon the pain of her loss you feel when thinking of her will be replaced by the warmth of memories of the good times you shared. I wish you the very best.
I am so sorry. You were a wonderful daughter and did so much for her. Her last days were so much better because of you. I am so sorry for all the pain that now follows, even though you were anticipating this to happen and likely did some grieving in advance. We are never ready.
A butterfly will land near you and will wait…talk to her…she will always be with you, it’s as if she never left. She is a part of you…and her greatest love is her previous son, Barney. Deepest condolences.
Barney, Thanks for all the encouraging words about my similar situation in past posts. Hope you can relish the good memories and re-live the good times you shared knowing you did the absolute best you could for your mom and deserve kudos for being a great garegiver. Grief is a weird mistress and she will exercise her hold over you in many unpredictable ways. The love and good thoughts poured out your way from the meh community are indeed a lovely thing to behold.
@Barney, I’m so very sorry. You are a wonderful daughter and your mother knew how much you loved her. You did everything you possibly could to make her remaining time on this earth comfortable. You helped her through confusion and made sure that she and Lady got to continue to spend time together. I can only hope that my children will be as loving and devoted 50ish years from now. We are here for you, but I also hope you have someone local that you can lean on right now. Much love to you.
@Barney You’re right though, she no longer hurts. I lost my Mom at the end of last February. This last Mother’s Day was pretty rough. I used to always call her during our Oklahoma storms to make sure she was OK…we used to go shopping together…ball games, concerts…so many different things I can’t do with her any more. So know that I know exactly how you feel.
To everyone: It’s been hard reading this thread. After several attempts, I was able to finish it a couple of days ago. @medz is right, you all seem to think you’re professional Hallmark card writers. Don’t quit your day jobs.
Seriously, thank you all for your kind words. Your friendships mean so much to me. And yes, you guys made me cry.
I hadn’t posted here because my own pain is too close. I’ve been knocked clean off my foundation this past year with the deaths of my best friend, my mom, and Simba who was like a child to me. I’m not even close to getting back on my feet, many days I couldn’t even tell you which way is up. But I didn’t want to let this thread go by without reaching out, you’ve been so kind to me over the years. All I can say is that I’m so sorry for your loss, that her life was better for your having been in it, and that our lives are better for her having given you to us.
Oh, @moondrake. Sometimes life seems to give us too much to handle. I knew about your best friend (that email offer still holds) and that big ol’ dog of yours, Simba. Such a good boy. But your mom, too? I’m so very, very sorry.
I’m hoping you have another real life best friend or two that you are able to talk to, but I’m here for you, too. You still have my email address, if you need to talk? Or just page me here at Meh and I’ll give it to you.