Great pain comes from great love and the love keeps her alive in you. Never stop sharing your stories of her with the world. Condolences for your loss.
I always have a hard time with words when someone loses someone very special (how can anyone come close to how special as a parent) because it’s hard to put what you mean into words that will convey the feelings I wish to send and to help console.
What I’m trying to say is I’m here for you and good that she’s not in pain. Let me help you however I can.
@Barney, I’m so sorry. In my experience, it seems to get better over time, tho perhaps we just become more resilient. Not much else to say, so I’ll shut up
So sorry for your loss, sweetie. Words won’t make it better, but hopefully knowing you have many friends keeping the two of you in their thoughts helps a little.
I am so sorry. I was afraid, when you were silent …
Thru your telling of spending time with her, I thought I got to know her a tiny bit, and we all got to know much about you. I started to feel that she was a little bit a constant part of our lives.
Wish I, or some of us, were free to go to Kansas right now.
I know you are exhausted and in shock.
Please tell me that you have people close to you, taking care of you, right now. I know you can keep going, but I also know if will be so hard, for so long.
@Barney, you’ve come to the right place. You’re among people who love you, and who have been with you (as much as is possible for a bunch of online, vaporous beings to be), and will continue to be here.
These Iris are descended from ones in my late mother’s garden, and were some of her favorites.
So sorry for your loss, @Barney. May she be at peace, and hopefully in time your pain will subside. I’m not really one who knows where to find the words for these sorts of things, but know that my thoughts are with you. Be well.
True condolences. I understand how you must feel because its still all too recent and unreal for me as well. Thank you for sharing, and also thank you for your caring and concern when others (like me) went through the same.
@duodec I’m sorry for your loss also. I was unaware that you were going through the same thing. My prayers are with you and yours to help get you through this difficult time.
@Kidsandliz@mehbee thanks but this is Barney’s topic; just wanted her to know that I, and doubtless others, understand and share in her loss, through our own.
Bunch of professional Hallmark card writers up in this thread…
Nothing I can say will help, but remember the good times and know that she would want you to be happy. Nothing can ever prepare someone for this kind of loss, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Only time can heal this kind of hurt.
@Barney I am so sorry for your loss. There is absolutely nothing anyone can say to make you feel better right now, but you should be so proud of yourself that you did everything you could to make her feel comfortable and loved over the last few years. I think back on the thread regarding the plush dog and just remember how you wanted to get it just right, because after all, she deserved it.
I hate that you have joined this difficult and painful club, those of us who have lost their mommies. It sucks. Just get through one moment at a time, that is all you can do. Eventually it becomes easier, if still painful. Do what you need to do for yourself and never let anyone tell you what you should be feeling or how you should grieve. My heart breaks for you.
@Barney, As I sit here and read your post which is so poignant in its simplicity and all the expressions of love and sympathy from our community, I’m not sure what I can say to you except thank you for sharing some of your mother with us. We all got to know her a bit and care for her from stories that you told. The one that’s already been mentioned and always comes to mind is about the stuffed dog you looked so hard for, and found, for her. I think your search for the perfect "replacement "(not that anything could replace her real pet), resonated with so many of us because the love you have for your mother shone through. Your need to bring her comfort was there for everyone to see. Nothing I can say can ease your grief, I wish I could, I would do or say whatever it was in an instant but maybe it might give you some comfort to know that you did everything you could for your mom and you exuded a love for her that even people online could feel it so you know she felt it. If there is anything I can do, send flowers, if she had an in lieu of request, if you would like me to plant a tree in her honor, or send one to you so you can plant it in a special place, please just let me know. If not, please accept my heartfelt condolences and prayers for you and your family.
@Barney I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.
May your mother’s life be honored by all she loved.
May her memory be cherished for all she gave.
May your heart be comforted by all you shared.
My condolences feels almost tacky to even post because it’s so cliche but others have expressed far more poignantly than I ever could the same thoughts I would like to be able to express. I am absolute rubbish with regards to knowing what to say when expressing my feelings to someone who has recently suffered a significant loss, I always seem to end up falling back on cliche expressions due to my inability to assemble my thoughts into words on the topic.
Suffice it to say that you have my sympathy and I am thinking of you and your mother tonight. What I have learned of you over the time we’ve been on this forum together tells me that you are a strong person, I feel confident that you will come to terms with her loss given time. I know from my own experiences that you will never get over missing her but I hope that soon the pain of her loss you feel when thinking of her will be replaced by the warmth of memories of the good times you shared. I wish you the very best.
I am so sorry. You were a wonderful daughter and did so much for her. Her last days were so much better because of you. I am so sorry for all the pain that now follows, even though you were anticipating this to happen and likely did some grieving in advance. We are never ready.
My wife says I’ll never grow up, but the day I became the older generation in my family was a hard one and maybe the most I’ve ever had to grow up all at once.
The saving grace, and I dearly hope you have this resource, is that I now have all the younger generations in my family to teach how to never grow up.
A butterfly will land near you and will wait…talk to her…she will always be with you, it’s as if she never left. She is a part of you…and her greatest love is her previous son, Barney. Deepest condolences.
Barney, Thanks for all the encouraging words about my similar situation in past posts. Hope you can relish the good memories and re-live the good times you shared knowing you did the absolute best you could for your mom and deserve kudos for being a great garegiver. Grief is a weird mistress and she will exercise her hold over you in many unpredictable ways. The love and good thoughts poured out your way from the meh community are indeed a lovely thing to behold.
i’m so sorry @Barney. i wish i was was better with words so i could write something better than that. just know there’s lots of people sending good thoughts your way.
@barney I don’t post here often and didn’t get to know you or your mom well enough, but I hope that your memories of her burn brightly in your mind and that you keep her spirit alive in your heart.
@Barney, I’m so very sorry. You are a wonderful daughter and your mother knew how much you loved her. You did everything you possibly could to make her remaining time on this earth comfortable. You helped her through confusion and made sure that she and Lady got to continue to spend time together. I can only hope that my children will be as loving and devoted 50ish years from now. We are here for you, but I also hope you have someone local that you can lean on right now. Much love to you.
@Barney You’re right though, she no longer hurts. I lost my Mom at the end of last February. This last Mother’s Day was pretty rough. I used to always call her during our Oklahoma storms to make sure she was OK…we used to go shopping together…ball games, concerts…so many different things I can’t do with her any more. So know that I know exactly how you feel.
To everyone: It’s been hard reading this thread. After several attempts, I was able to finish it a couple of days ago. @medz is right, you all seem to think you’re professional Hallmark card writers. Don’t quit your day jobs.
Seriously, thank you all for your kind words. Your friendships mean so much to me. And yes, you guys made me cry.
@lisaviolet I didn’t make comments when I first posted this. I just couldn’t, I was crying too much.
Yes, Mom was beautiful, she really was. And she looked a whole lot better before she got mad and threw her dentures at one of the aides at her first nursing home.
I hadn’t posted here because my own pain is too close. I’ve been knocked clean off my foundation this past year with the deaths of my best friend, my mom, and Simba who was like a child to me. I’m not even close to getting back on my feet, many days I couldn’t even tell you which way is up. But I didn’t want to let this thread go by without reaching out, you’ve been so kind to me over the years. All I can say is that I’m so sorry for your loss, that her life was better for your having been in it, and that our lives are better for her having given you to us.
Oh, @moondrake. Sometimes life seems to give us too much to handle. I knew about your best friend (that email offer still holds) and that big ol’ dog of yours, Simba. Such a good boy. But your mom, too? I’m so very, very sorry.
I’m hoping you have another real life best friend or two that you are able to talk to, but I’m here for you, too. You still have my email address, if you need to talk? Or just page me here at Meh and I’ll give it to you.
So, so sorry @Barney. Words are never enough, just know we’re here to help mend your beautiful broken heart.
Oh @barney, I’m so sorry. My heart hurts for you. Glad she’s no longer in pain though.
Oh no. I was getting ready to email you since I hadn’t seen you around.
I’m so sorry. May she rest in peace.
Lots of hugs to you.
I’m so sorry to hear that.
Great pain comes from great love and the love keeps her alive in you. Never stop sharing your stories of her with the world. Condolences for your loss.
awww @barney …
@barney I’m so sorry.
I always have a hard time with words when someone loses someone very special (how can anyone come close to how special as a parent) because it’s hard to put what you mean into words that will convey the feelings I wish to send and to help console.
What I’m trying to say is I’m here for you and good that she’s not in pain. Let me help you however I can.
Prayers and sympathy your way Barney.
I’m very sorry, @Barney.
@Barney, I’m so sorry. In my experience, it seems to get better over time, tho perhaps we just become more resilient. Not much else to say, so I’ll shut up
So sorry @Barney
Adding my condolences. Remember it is hard now because she was so special and close. It is worth the hurt. Take care of yourself.
So sorry for your loss, sweetie. Words won’t make it better, but hopefully knowing you have many friends keeping the two of you in their thoughts helps a little.
I am so sorry. I was afraid, when you were silent …
Thru your telling of spending time with her, I thought I got to know her a tiny bit, and we all got to know much about you. I started to feel that she was a little bit a constant part of our lives.
Wish I, or some of us, were free to go to Kansas right now.
I know you are exhausted and in shock.
Please tell me that you have people close to you, taking care of you, right now. I know you can keep going, but I also know if will be so hard, for so long.
Please tell us what we can do to help.
Love you
@Barney, you’ve come to the right place. You’re among people who love you, and who have been with you (as much as is possible for a bunch of online, vaporous beings to be), and will continue to be here.
These Iris are descended from ones in my late mother’s garden, and were some of her favorites.
I’m very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
So sorry for your loss, @Barney. May she be at peace, and hopefully in time your pain will subside. I’m not really one who knows where to find the words for these sorts of things, but know that my thoughts are with you. Be well.
@Barney, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing you & your mom’s journey with us. Please take some time to care for yourself now. Peace.
My deep sympathy.
True condolences. I understand how you must feel because its still all too recent and unreal for me as well. Thank you for sharing, and also thank you for your caring and concern when others (like me) went through the same.
@duodec I’m sorry for your loss also. I was unaware that you were going through the same thing. My prayers are with you and yours to help get you through this difficult time.
@duodec I, too, am sorry you lost a parent. I have one left and am dreading the day. The pain of grief is hard.
@Kidsandliz @mehbee thanks but this is Barney’s topic; just wanted her to know that I, and doubtless others, understand and share in her loss, through our own.
Sorry for your loss. Be Well.
Aw @Barney, I’m so sorry. Sending sympathy, hugs, and strength your way.
So sorry :,(
I’m so sorry for your pain. Everyone has worried about her, and you, and we all send our sympathy. Please take care of yourself.
For parents and children, as it should be, all through the long years …,
@barney So sorry. I remember how hard it was when I lost my dad.
Oh @Barney, I am so sorry you lost your mom.
My condolences for your loss. Sending prayers and virtual hugs your way.
My very deepest sympathy. A mother’s love is never gone. I hope you find peace with her love that lives on in you.
So sorry. Thanks for sharing that photo- I love her smile.
Oh, Barney.
Sending you love.
Death holds no power over love, especially the love of a mother. For this reason, I believe one can never truly lose their mom.
Please accept my deepest, and very heart-felt condolences.
Sending you much love . . .
@Pavlov Beautifully and rightfully said!
Bunch of professional Hallmark card writers up in this thread…
Nothing I can say will help, but remember the good times and know that she would want you to be happy. Nothing can ever prepare someone for this kind of loss, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Only time can heal this kind of hurt.
My deepest sympathy.
I’m so sorry for your loss. No other words can help. You are not alone.
Sorry for your loss @Barney- I know she meant the world to you.
@Barney I am so sorry for your loss. There is absolutely nothing anyone can say to make you feel better right now, but you should be so proud of yourself that you did everything you could to make her feel comfortable and loved over the last few years. I think back on the thread regarding the plush dog and just remember how you wanted to get it just right, because after all, she deserved it.
memory eternal
/image purple stuff
I hate that you have joined this difficult and painful club, those of us who have lost their mommies. It sucks. Just get through one moment at a time, that is all you can do. Eventually it becomes easier, if still painful. Do what you need to do for yourself and never let anyone tell you what you should be feeling or how you should grieve. My heart breaks for you.
So sorry for you. She made a good kid.
@Barney, you were good to her. And that can be hard to do, sometimes.
/image purple condolences
So weird. That’s exactly what I was going to write.
So sorry, Barney
@Barney, As I sit here and read your post which is so poignant in its simplicity and all the expressions of love and sympathy from our community, I’m not sure what I can say to you except thank you for sharing some of your mother with us. We all got to know her a bit and care for her from stories that you told. The one that’s already been mentioned and always comes to mind is about the stuffed dog you looked so hard for, and found, for her. I think your search for the perfect "replacement "(not that anything could replace her real pet), resonated with so many of us because the love you have for your mother shone through. Your need to bring her comfort was there for everyone to see. Nothing I can say can ease your grief, I wish I could, I would do or say whatever it was in an instant but maybe it might give you some comfort to know that you did everything you could for your mom and you exuded a love for her that even people online could feel it so you know she felt it. If there is anything I can do, send flowers, if she had an in lieu of request, if you would like me to plant a tree in her honor, or send one to you so you can plant it in a special place, please just let me know. If not, please accept my heartfelt condolences and prayers for you and your family.
No words can relieve the hurt, but it is usually proportionate to the importance of the person in your life.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thomas
@Barney I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.
May your mother’s life be honored by all she loved.
May her memory be cherished for all she gave.
May your heart be comforted by all you shared.
@Barney
My condolences feels almost tacky to even post because it’s so cliche but others have expressed far more poignantly than I ever could the same thoughts I would like to be able to express. I am absolute rubbish with regards to knowing what to say when expressing my feelings to someone who has recently suffered a significant loss, I always seem to end up falling back on cliche expressions due to my inability to assemble my thoughts into words on the topic.
Suffice it to say that you have my sympathy and I am thinking of you and your mother tonight. What I have learned of you over the time we’ve been on this forum together tells me that you are a strong person, I feel confident that you will come to terms with her loss given time. I know from my own experiences that you will never get over missing her but I hope that soon the pain of her loss you feel when thinking of her will be replaced by the warmth of memories of the good times you shared. I wish you the very best.
@jbartus What you think you were unable to say was said perfectly.
I am so sorry. You were a wonderful daughter and did so much for her. Her last days were so much better because of you. I am so sorry for all the pain that now follows, even though you were anticipating this to happen and likely did some grieving in advance. We are never ready.
I’m so sorry @barney I’m glad you shared a picture. It’s a good reminder for me to take some of my Mom.
@barney – my heart breaks for you. You were there for her when she needed you. Try to find peace in your memories of the good times.
@Barney, I’m so sorry.
My wife says I’ll never grow up, but the day I became the older generation in my family was a hard one and maybe the most I’ve ever had to grow up all at once.
The saving grace, and I dearly hope you have this resource, is that I now have all the younger generations in my family to teach how to never grow up.
Bless you, you have been a wonderful daughter.
A butterfly will land near you and will wait…talk to her…she will always be with you, it’s as if she never left. She is a part of you…and her greatest love is her previous son, Barney. Deepest condolences.
^^^^…er…daughter
Barney, Thanks for all the encouraging words about my similar situation in past posts. Hope you can relish the good memories and re-live the good times you shared knowing you did the absolute best you could for your mom and deserve kudos for being a great garegiver. Grief is a weird mistress and she will exercise her hold over you in many unpredictable ways. The love and good thoughts poured out your way from the meh community are indeed a lovely thing to behold.
i’m so sorry @Barney. i wish i was was better with words so i could write something better than that. just know there’s lots of people sending good thoughts your way.
@barney I don’t post here often and didn’t get to know you or your mom well enough, but I hope that your memories of her burn brightly in your mind and that you keep her spirit alive in your heart.
I’m so sorry to hear this. But I also know her body had become the ultimate traitor and she’s free. Sorry for your pain
Sorry about that @barney. I know the feeling well. May she sleep in peace.
@barney
I am so sorry for the loss of your mama.
Take care of yourself during this difficult time.
@Barney, I’m so very sorry. You are a wonderful daughter and your mother knew how much you loved her. You did everything you possibly could to make her remaining time on this earth comfortable. You helped her through confusion and made sure that she and Lady got to continue to spend time together. I can only hope that my children will be as loving and devoted 50ish years from now. We are here for you, but I also hope you have someone local that you can lean on right now. Much love to you.
Oh @Barney I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for posting a photo of your lovely mother.
So sorry, @Barney.
@Barney You’re right though, she no longer hurts. I lost my Mom at the end of last February. This last Mother’s Day was pretty rough. I used to always call her during our Oklahoma storms to make sure she was OK…we used to go shopping together…ball games, concerts…so many different things I can’t do with her any more. So know that I know exactly how you feel.
@Barney Still sending loving thoughts your way.
@beachbum Thank you.
To everyone: It’s been hard reading this thread. After several attempts, I was able to finish it a couple of days ago. @medz is right, you all seem to think you’re professional Hallmark card writers. Don’t quit your day jobs.
Seriously, thank you all for your kind words. Your friendships mean so much to me. And yes, you guys made me cry.
@Barney
:purpleheart:
I just saw this thread and I’m so sorry, my thoughts are with you
@Barney, I read your post and started thinking about my mum who passed in 2003.
My eyes are leaking and I’m sniffling.
For you. For your mom. And for my mum.
I’m so very sorry. Your mother was beautiful.
(((((Barney)))))
@lisaviolet I didn’t make comments when I first posted this. I just couldn’t, I was crying too much.
Yes, Mom was beautiful, she really was. And she looked a whole lot better before she got mad and threw her dentures at one of the aides at her first nursing home.
@Barney
Most of us looked better before we did that.
But what can you do? Sometimes those dentures just need throwing.
(Not to my first set yet, hoping that’s a long way off.)
(But that doesn’t mean I am particularly better looking than someone who just threw theirs. )
I hadn’t posted here because my own pain is too close. I’ve been knocked clean off my foundation this past year with the deaths of my best friend, my mom, and Simba who was like a child to me. I’m not even close to getting back on my feet, many days I couldn’t even tell you which way is up. But I didn’t want to let this thread go by without reaching out, you’ve been so kind to me over the years. All I can say is that I’m so sorry for your loss, that her life was better for your having been in it, and that our lives are better for her having given you to us.
Oh, @moondrake. Sometimes life seems to give us too much to handle. I knew about your best friend (that email offer still holds) and that big ol’ dog of yours, Simba. Such a good boy. But your mom, too? I’m so very, very sorry.
I’m hoping you have another real life best friend or two that you are able to talk to, but I’m here for you, too. You still have my email address, if you need to talk? Or just page me here at Meh and I’ll give it to you.
Please take care of you.
Love,
“B”
@moondrake so sorry to hear about all your unbelievable losses…I am sorry to read this news and I am praying for you too.
@moondrake You said that perfectly. hugs
Sorry …just saw this topic and your post now…praying for you as you still mourn your great loss…
I’m so sorry @Barney, I wish you strength in the coming weeks, months, and years.
(And I’m sorry I’m only just now seeing this)
Hey, that’s OK, @jqubed, I’m just now able to talk about this. And thank you.
very sorry
@mistamoose
thanks