Is it a for sure breakup? Sometimes people just need a chance to catch their breath and think about things.
Whenever there was a breakup in my life, someone else came along, maybe not right away, but each relationship was better than the last.
I just took that experience and figured out what I didn’t want in a partner. When I was 31, I met him. We married seven months later.
We did kind of breakup a few months in, he started dating someone else. But it didn’t last long, she had issues. I sent him a card in the mail, not mushy or anything, kind of humorous, miss you kind of card (no texting, no phone calls, put the ball in his court) and he called me.
And here we are, thirty-six years later. Still together.
Take this time to take care of yourself and figure out what you want.
Clearly my responses were off base…
I’m the guy who’s been dumped by every girl he’s ever dated, and have been Fully single for the last…18?..years.
Clearly my advice is nothing to go on.
even though I don’t know the OP, I was just trying to be a pal.
heck, the co -worker i was referring to…
I’ve been quietly carrying a torch for her as long as we’ve worked together(10 yrs or so). now that She’s Single, I desperately want to make a move, but 1) I’m a Giant Pussy with even larger fear of rejection
2) I know enough not to want to be anyone’s rebound…
3) I can’t trust my own read on the reciprocity of any interest, because of my own emotional involvement, and see #1 above.
so Def. not the person to listen to when it comes to affairs of the heart…
@earlyre
You defiantly don’t want to be somebody’s rebound after a 10 year relationship. And you do t wanna come off as a creeper. It’s a hard situation. I have to think
@earlyre I do not understand people who break up right before something important, or a day meant to be happy. One of my exes decided it would be a good idea for him to leave me the day before Valentine’s Day. That was particularly crappy. He’s married now and I wish him well…but still, his timing stuck in my mind. It was also right before an overnight event we both attended.
@earlyre@PooltoyWolf
Well that’s just darn selfish and inconsiderate! Makes you kind of stop and think what kind of person they were in the first place. Like what the heck did I see in him/her?
@Lynnerizer@PooltoyWolf
Yeah… She gave him 10 years… For a good chunk of that time, she’d see his family members at the store where we work, more often than she would see him…
Whatever you do, if there’s some hope that it’s temporary, don’t hover. Gently let her know that you’ll wait at least a bit, and do that. And then move on, quietly and without fanfare. Nothing screams “toxic asshole” as loud as dissing the ex that dumped you.
No harm in asking her why. You have a right to know, especially if it’s for good. If it’s something you did you can work on it for future relationships. Girls don’t usually break up without giving a reason but then again I’m talking about from my age group. I don’t know how things are done with all this texting bullshit and you never talk to the person. I still have real conversation with my boyfriend (I’d be in a would of hell if I ever needed to date again bc I don’t do the whole texting thing with someone I’m dating and trying to get to know). On the flip side I’m also a very bold, blunt person who speaks her mind and realizes that not everybody is. Some people are just very uncomfortable about talking about certain things or voicing thoughts in general and if you were dating one of those you may never know.
Like the saying goes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Sorry just had to say it.
@ircon96
Man did that come a few decades to late. I would have known one but fortunately he died years ago and all my friends joking asked if I killed him. I was a kid and made bad choices. My mom said no so I did.
Sad to here that! Never been in such situation but i would just say try to get your self busy in things that you like and keep yourself distracted! Go out with friends, play video games, Netflix, etc!
So here we are 9 months later, not sure how/why or WHO brought this thread up from the archive but since it’s here I’m going to ask;
Hey @Berndude, how’s it going these days, have you gotten over your girl and moved on? I sure hope so!
Wishing you Always!
@Lynnerizer that would be me… I linked to this ( specifically referencing my posts ) for some backstory to what I’m thankful for this year!
tldr - The girl I’ve wanted to date for around ten years, became single around a year ago, and a few weeks back we both admitted mutual feelings and are trying to make a go at it!
I sincerely hope @Berndude has been anywhere near as lucky as I feel.
@unksol.
Thanks buddy.
to @ Berndude:
I wish you better luck in the coming year!
(yes, my new GF does have a sister, but I can’t introduce you to her even if we’re geographically close(?) as, 1)the sister is already married, 2) the sister’s very high maintenance)
Is it a for sure breakup? Sometimes people just need a chance to catch their breath and think about things.
Whenever there was a breakup in my life, someone else came along, maybe not right away, but each relationship was better than the last.
I just took that experience and figured out what I didn’t want in a partner. When I was 31, I met him. We married seven months later.
We did kind of breakup a few months in, he started dating someone else. But it didn’t last long, she had issues. I sent him a card in the mail, not mushy or anything, kind of humorous, miss you kind of card (no texting, no phone calls, put the ball in his court) and he called me.
And here we are, thirty-six years later. Still together.
Take this time to take care of yourself and figure out what you want.
Buy things on an online daily deal site until the pain is gone. This may take many days and many purchases.
Seriously, hope you’re ok.
/giphy fistbump
sorry for your loss.
I have a Friend at work going through this too.
Her BF of nearly 10 yrs dumped her days before her birthday, without giving her any reason.
but back to the O.P’s Situation…Fuck that bitch.
you’re better off without her. other fish in the sea.
other supportive sayings.
Clearly my responses were off base…
I’m the guy who’s been dumped by every girl he’s ever dated, and have been Fully single for the last…18?..years.
Clearly my advice is nothing to go on.
even though I don’t know the OP, I was just trying to be a pal.
heck, the co -worker i was referring to…
I’ve been quietly carrying a torch for her as long as we’ve worked together(10 yrs or so). now that She’s Single, I desperately want to make a move, but 1) I’m a Giant Pussy with even larger fear of rejection
2) I know enough not to want to be anyone’s rebound…
3) I can’t trust my own read on the reciprocity of any interest, because of my own emotional involvement, and see #1 above.
so Def. not the person to listen to when it comes to affairs of the heart…
@earlyre
You defiantly don’t want to be somebody’s rebound after a 10 year relationship. And you do t wanna come off as a creeper. It’s a hard situation. I have to think
@earlyre I do not understand people who break up right before something important, or a day meant to be happy. One of my exes decided it would be a good idea for him to leave me the day before Valentine’s Day. That was particularly crappy. He’s married now and I wish him well…but still, his timing stuck in my mind. It was also right before an overnight event we both attended.
@earlyre @PooltoyWolf
yeah… that’s a shitty way to weasel out of a present!
@earlyre @PooltoyWolf
Well that’s just darn selfish and inconsiderate! Makes you kind of stop and think what kind of person they were in the first place. Like what the heck did I see in him/her?
@Lynnerizer @PooltoyWolf
Yeah… She gave him 10 years… For a good chunk of that time, she’d see his family members at the store where we work, more often than she would see him…
When that happens to me, I usually cook up a nice big spam dinner. If you’re doing the same please let me know when dinner is ready.
Whatever you do, if there’s some hope that it’s temporary, don’t hover. Gently let her know that you’ll wait at least a bit, and do that. And then move on, quietly and without fanfare. Nothing screams “toxic asshole” as loud as dissing the ex that dumped you.
No harm in asking her why. You have a right to know, especially if it’s for good. If it’s something you did you can work on it for future relationships. Girls don’t usually break up without giving a reason but then again I’m talking about from my age group. I don’t know how things are done with all this texting bullshit and you never talk to the person. I still have real conversation with my boyfriend (I’d be in a would of hell if I ever needed to date again bc I don’t do the whole texting thing with someone I’m dating and trying to get to know). On the flip side I’m also a very bold, blunt person who speaks her mind and realizes that not everybody is. Some people are just very uncomfortable about talking about certain things or voicing thoughts in general and if you were dating one of those you may never know.
Like the saying goes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Sorry just had to say it.
I second the idea to get a rescue dog… they’re great and they love you unconditionally!
Dude/tte - check your bank balance today and then check it again in a couple of weeks. This loss could actually be a significant gain.
/giphy homer bushes
@njfan Or a larger loss since your whole life is probably on your phone. Sorry…had to point that out.
Does she happen to be a gun runner, cat burglar, drug kingpin, general criminal sort, etc?
https://thecrimereport.org/2022/02/11/southern-police-departments-launch-turn-in-you-exes-valentines-day-campaign/
@ircon96
Man did that come a few decades to late. I would have known one but fortunately he died years ago and all my friends joking asked if I killed him. I was a kid and made bad choices. My mom said no so I did.
@Star2236 Ouch… Sadly, sounds like karma took care of that for ya! Not to mention any of his impending victims…?
Sad to here that! Never been in such situation but i would just say try to get your self busy in things that you like and keep yourself distracted! Go out with friends, play video games, Netflix, etc!
HIT THE GYM
So here we are 9 months later, not sure how/why or WHO brought this thread up from the archive but since it’s here I’m going to ask;
Always! 
Hey @Berndude, how’s it going these days, have you gotten over your girl and moved on? I sure hope so!
Wishing you
@Lynnerizer that would be me… I linked to this ( specifically referencing my posts ) for some backstory to what I’m thankful for this year!
tldr - The girl I’ve wanted to date for around ten years, became single around a year ago, and a few weeks back we both admitted mutual feelings and are trying to make a go at it!
I sincerely hope @Berndude has been anywhere near as lucky as I feel.
@Berndude @earlyre @Lynnerizer I want to hate your lucky ass… But it is the holidays. lol. Congrats.
@unksol.
Thanks buddy.
to @ Berndude:
I wish you better luck in the coming year!
(yes, my new GF does have a sister, but I can’t introduce you to her even if we’re geographically close(?) as, 1)the sister is already married, 2) the sister’s very high maintenance)
@earlyre just. You know. Don’t make it weird what with the whole 10 year crush. Sounds like you probably dodged the rebound bullet already.
If there is still potential for “wait is that why you always did xyz for me?!?” Might be good to come clean.