Meh, I sacrificed my right, er, left arm for you

@dave

@Barney The humble defeated words of a true champ

@Barney @pyroguy7 I think you misspelled “chump”.

@ekw @pyroguy7 Ms. Purple Chump to you.

@Barney @pyroguy7 is anything more fitting than you getting the Purple Heart for this?

@shahnm Nope, nope, nope, I don’t like pain.

@Barney

Need a knife? There’s a small blade, so it MUST not cause a lot of pain.

(I’m oddly excited about this order, for some reason.)

I’ll even bring anesthesia if you’d like.

---

/wootstalker https://sellout.woot.com/offers/stanley-10788-curved-quick-change-utility-knife

Stanley 10788 Curved Quick-Change Utility Knife
Price: $4.99
Condition: New
This deal is currently sold out

@PlacidPenguin Nope.

@Barney

Well if you change your mind, you know where to find me.

@PlacidPenguin To do bathroom surgery on @Barney you will likely need a crackerjack box MD license (not of the google variety). Good luck with that.

@Barney @Kidsandliz

Bathroom surgery? Pass.

@PlacidPenguin when I had my first breast cancer the delay was so long between the biopsy and the actual surgery (close to two months) I was having dreams of being in the bathroom and using a jack knife to cut it out myself. Had that dream multiple times.

@mfladd Hey, I’ve still got a whole box of the Grime Boss Hand Wipes. Wonder if they would work? (Still betcha they would hurt, too.)

@medz I’m glad yours washed off. As for me, mine will eventually wear off, or else Barney is going to have to start saying, “I love Mercurochrome.”

@kdemo Who says I don’t hang out there now??
Geez, tide with bleach sounds so painful. So does steel wool. I guess I’m just a coward at heart.

@Barney

No silly.

Eat the Tide while you watch Bleach.

@PlacidPenguin Uh-uh.

@Seeds That stuff is great!

@mfladd @Seeds I’ve never heard of this stuff. I’ll have to get some for when I’m messing around with my old Saturn.

@Barney @mfladd @Seeds
I’ve purchased it at Northern Tool & Harbor Freight; also available at auto parts stores (like O’Reilly). Of course, there’s always Amazon.

@compunaut Thanks!

@Seeds D&L Hand Cleaner- also softens with lanolin, and it can be used waterlessly [it actually works better that way]- I was reminded of it when the corrections officer squeezed some on my hands to wash off the fingerprinting ink.

It also lasts [virtually] forever as long the can is kept closed.

BTW, no I was not being incarcerated- I needed to be printed for a background check for a job I applied for, and may yet get- if they don’t figure out that I hang out here…

@PlacidPenguin I don’t like pain.

@Barney

You know what they say about pain in Kansas?

They don’t say anything. Kansas doesn’t exist.

@therealjrn Thank you for being so very helpful.

@Barney Anytime!

@stardate820926 Thanks, I’ll give it a try tomorrow. My arm is still a little raw from trying the other stuff. (A lot of that pink in the picture is me and not the marker.)

@stardate820926 Nope, it didn’t work.

@clonetek Um, no thank you, I’ve got enough.

@Barney @clonetek With that expiration date I wonder what would happen if you actually used it for anything.

@Kidsandliz As bad as that stuff stings when applied to a cut, that might be a 2085 expiration date.

@Barney ROTFLMAO - although with the studies about how many drugs can be used and are effective years after their expiration date you might be right. The government has stockpile expired drugs for as long as 30 years and periodically tests them. Many are still good.

@Barney @Kidsandliz It’s def 1985, I don’t think they sell Thimerosal in the states any more…

@Barney @clonetek @Kidsandliz

Yup.

Read the second paragraph in the section entitled ‘uses’.

wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiomersal

@PlacidPenguin I’m not planning on using it.

@rm9116 No pain? Sounds like a plan!

@speediedelivery Haha! I usually go about things wrong. Um, care for a glass of Scotch?

@Barney I was served a water glass full of warm scotch once. I took one sip and held it until nobody was paying any attention and set it down and walked away. I am more of a schnapps person. I have a new bottle I might be talked into sharing.

@speediedelivery I’ve never tried schnapps. Actually, I don’t drink, although I did try a bit of the Wellington wine that Woot! offered at their final wine sale. It was delightful.

@Barney You have been deprived. Come on over, I will get the glasses out.

I don’t drink much but I did have a glass last night. I missed out on the wine.

@speediedelivery
On my way! Just look for someone wearing jeans, a purple meh shirt, purple shoes, and purple glasses. AND a pink tattoo (ouch). I’ll bring some Wellington.

@Barney Perfect! I will put on my purple meh shirt so you know it’s me. If you get me drunk enough maybe we can take a selfie

@speediedelivery In case we get too drunk, I think I’ll walk to your house. Don’t want to risk getting a ticket or worse going home. So it’s gonna be a while before I get there. Oh, and I’ll be wearing my tortoise shell glasses with the purple stripe instead of the purple ones. (I call them my nerd glasses.)

@speediedelivery Hey, maybe we could post some new Drinking Terrible videos on meh?

@Barney I would definitely be terrible if I got drunk. I can pull out a air mattress and we can make a weekend of it. Ride your Harley. Roar on the Shore starts this week.

Hmmm. I will see what mixers I rustle up. Maybe we should go with the scotch for the video. Wouldn’t want to ruin good Wellington and schnapps.

@speediedelivery Wait a minute! Didn’t you move? You never gave me your new address.

I’d be sitting there on your old porch stoop lonely and forlorn, waiting for you, and you’d never show up.

At least I wouldn’t be thirsty.

@Barney I’m sure you have the new address. Are you almost here? I am ready to fire up the grill and drink while cooking. I hope you don’t mind I started without you.

@speediedelivery
Wel, started walking – motorcicles scare me, an its a long walk. Then I got thirtsy. Only think to drink was wine. An more win. Then I ran out. Sho, I turned round and went home for moore. Good think I had stocked up. Rite?

ll’l start back out tomorow. Gotta nap now.

@Barney OK, good. I decided I needed to run to the store for supplies. Then I saw a couple of the local fruit stands were open. I ended up one longer than a quick errand and figured I missed you. Anyway, now I have sweet corn and cherries in case we get the munchies.

@speediedelivery
Sweet corn and cherries sounds great and I’ll bring some home grown tomatoes. Oh, and I’ll fix us some potato salad. I make the world’s bestest potato salad.

So I’ll just load all this up, with the wine, and bring it in my little red wagon.

See ya tomorrow.

@Barney I bought potatoes to try and make salad but mine is hit and miss. Usually edible but not consistent. Home grown tomatoes I could live on. I might have to hitch a ride in your wagon and go home with you.

@ruouttaurmind Shoot! I thought you were going to tell me to drink a light duty Scotch to forget all about it.

@Barney @ruouttaurmind I like the light scotch idea myself. I might have to get some to use prophylactically. :shot_glass:

@Barney well if you drank the light scotch prior to trying some of the methods mentioned above you might then find them a bit less painful?

@parodymandotcom I think mine is going to wear off. I hope.

@Barney I just got a pile of furniture stain on me that sat for up to 4 hours (fixing nicks in all mom’s furniture and then polishing it). I discovered, quite by accident, that Old English Furniture oil that was all over the paper towel I was using (as she has no rags) got those stains off my skin. Maybe furniture oil will work on marker?

@Kidsandliz

I’m just going to let it wear off.

In the meantime, my mailman saw it and got a good chuckle when I told him the story about it.

@PlacidPenguin Nah, we’re just doing a little beverage sampling.

@Barney

You just made me think of this passage:

[Zaphod] poured a drink down his other throat with the plan that it would head the previous one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second one to pull itself together. Then all three would go off in search of the first, give it a good talking to and maybe a bit of a sing as well.
He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all that, so he sent a fifth to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support.

• Douglas Adams, “Life, The Universe And Everything”

@Barney @PlacidPenguin We loved those books, God rest Mr. Adams in peace…